I am disenchanted with this hobby

[[email protected]]

Hi guys,

I own a tank for more than a month now and right now I have mixed
feelings about it.

It is not what I expected it to be and I am starting to think of
getting rid of it.

It has nothing to do of taking care of the fish, the money spent on
hardware.

It's just I like animals and it stresses me to see fish die and I am
the one to blame for it due to my inexperience and for putting fish
into a tank and play with their lifes...

I had fish that died because they got sucked into the filter,
because the water didnt have the proper qualities and now because of
disease...
It's a constant battle for me to take care of the fish and I am losing
it.

Sorry for my venting but I am frustrated.
Thanks

[[email protected]]

I am sorry to hear you are frustrated. I was once but my only excuse is
because I was so young at the time and didn't have the money to
properly take care of my pets. What turned me around was more of me
doing research and just plain reading a lot about it, and possibly me
getting older helped too. I don't know how old you are but I would
suggest doing research on the net and maybe subscribing to a great
aquarium magazine like tropical fish hobbyist (tfh) if they still cover
freshwater fish keeping like I suspect you are most interested in right
now or you would have posted your message elsewhere (i.e. sal****er).
Having to do research in this hobby to gain skill instead of relying on
luck proves people keep learning by leaps and bounds and the great
thing about this newsgroup is the social interaction that is the extra
plus of this group. You can learn while you converse with other people
with by and large the same interests as yourself. Good fortune to you
and I would like to see you keep trying and soon start keeping fish
that thrive like mine. Later!

[dfreas]

Take a breather for a minute. Getting started in the hobby is always a
little stressful - especially if you care about the fish you keep, and
you obviously do. That's not a reason to give up. You've learned a lot.

Try starting out a little slower. Do you have any fish left? Try only
keeping a very few fish to start with - something like an inch of fish
per 5 or 10 gallons. That will give you lots of room to make mistakes
without hurting your fish. Then you won't get so stressed out and you
can learn and build up the knowledge to keep more fish.

If you are keeping very small fish and the filter seems to be giving
you problems try replacing it with a sponge filter. You can buy a
decent sponge filter for about $5 so you don't have to worry about the
cost much. And as long as you're only keeping a few easy fish a sponge
filter will be completely adequate for nearly any setup. It's even safe
for the smallest fry so you won't have any worries.

Since dying fish obviously stresses you out be careful to select a fish
that won't die easily. Stay away from guppies - yes they are easy
beginner fish but they have short lives and tend to die off quickly. I
don't think you would like that much. Try something longer lived. How
big is your tank? If you have a 20 or 30 gallon tank you might try bala
sharks, very easy and fairly long lived. If your tank is a 10 gallon
then try something like a couple of cory cats, or several danios.
Something small and hardy. Don't get tetras of any kind, they're much
more liklely to die than most other small fish. Just take it easy and
start slow, when you get more confident in your abilities then get more
fish.

And while you're selecting your fish go to the plant section and buy
either some hornwort or some anacharis and stuff it in your aquarium.
Those two plants grow easily and quickly and will provide a buffer that
will help control the water and give you a little extra time to react
to ammonia spikes and such.

Your fish will be ok.

-Daniel

[bettasngoldfish]

Believe me we have all been there at some time : ( It will get better,
don't give up!

[Nikki Casali]

dfreas wrote:

Try something longer lived.

The problem with keeping long lived fish is that you can get so attached
to them. And when they do die it hurts even more. I kept a couple of
Bala Sharks for 4 years, and because of my complacency - I thought they
were practically immortal - they eventually succumbed to dodgy water
conditions. I was devastated. I even have a marked grave for them. I
won't keep any more of them. They are extremely nervous fish and will
outgrow any tank you keep it in, unless it's at least 6'.

If I could tell my past self which fish to keep, I'd say to start out
with a couple of mollies. These are extremely hardy fish and have a life
span of about 3 years. Well, it does help having liquid rock pouring
from the tap though. Soft water they may not do so well in.

Nikki

[Tom Randy]

On Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:53:16 -0800, wrote:

> Hi guys,
>
> I own a tank for more than a month now and right now I have mixed feelings
> about it.
>
> It is not what I expected it to be and I am starting to think of getting
> rid of it.
>
> It has nothing to do of taking care of the fish, the money spent on
> hardware.
>
> It's just I like animals and it stresses me to see fish die and I am the
> one to blame for it due to my inexperience and for putting fish into a
> tank and play with their lifes...
>
> I had fish that died because they got sucked into the filter, because the
> water didnt have the proper qualities and now because of disease...
> It's a constant battle for me to take care of the fish and I am losing it.
>
> Sorry for my venting but I am frustrated. Thanks


I have lost 6 fish in the past month. It happens. I had to put one down
tonight actually. An albino cory that was sick. I lost 3 rasboras and 3
albino corys. I think the corys had a fungus on their mouth areas and the
tails looked torn.

Point is, it happens. Don't get too down about it.

You'll do better soon. Really.

Tom

[[email protected]]

Thanks guys...

I just had a gourami that quit on me literally. it had popeye and I was
coming home with some medecine... too late...
I am still battling Ich but I thing the worse is gone for now.

Damn fish like them too much.

[Justin Boucher]

I had an entire 240 gal marine system crash on me. I received a sick fish
and the stress of moving made things worse. 8 fish later, I sold what I
could and converted back to freshwater where I have nearly 20 years of
fishkeeping experience. I still dream of sucsessfuly running a marine tank
and have learned a lot of tricks that only experience can teach: Even after
extensive reading on the marine system, the minute secrets aren't in most
books.

As for my new freshwater conversion, I still can lose fish in a new tank set
up. Mostly, it's the dreaded cycle that claimes at least one fish life for
me unless I have access to an established tank to where I can kidnap some
mature filtration media.

There are a lot of very knowledgable and helpful people available and this
newsgroup is a great source. Spend some time reading, researching and
asking questions to other sucessful aquarists. If you have a favorite fish
that you would like to have, find others who keep them well and see if they
can help. Experience is the best teacher and although there will always be
some that we can only gain for ourselves, try to gather as much as you can
from others.

Justin

> wrote in message
ups.com...
> Hi guys,
>
> I own a tank for more than a month now and right now I have mixed
> feelings about it.
>
> It is not what I expected it to be and I am starting to think of
> getting rid of it.
>
> It has nothing to do of taking care of the fish, the money spent on
> hardware.
>
> It's just I like animals and it stresses me to see fish die and I am
> the one to blame for it due to my inexperience and for putting fish
> into a tank and play with their lifes...
>
> I had fish that died because they got sucked into the filter,
> because the water didnt have the proper qualities and now because of
> disease...
> It's a constant battle for me to take care of the fish and I am losing
> it.
>
> Sorry for my venting but I am frustrated.
> Thanks
>

[Gill Passman]

"Nikki Casali" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> dfreas wrote:
>
> Try something longer lived.
>
> The problem with keeping long lived fish is that you can get so attached
> to them. And when they do die it hurts even more. I kept a couple of
> Bala Sharks for 4 years, and because of my complacency - I thought they
> were practically immortal - they eventually succumbed to dodgy water
> conditions. I was devastated. I even have a marked grave for them. I
> won't keep any more of them. They are extremely nervous fish and will
> outgrow any tank you keep it in, unless it's at least 6'.
>
> If I could tell my past self which fish to keep, I'd say to start out
> with a couple of mollies. These are extremely hardy fish and have a life
> span of about 3 years. Well, it does help having liquid rock pouring
> from the tap though. Soft water they may not do so well in.
>
> Nikki
>

If you go for Mollies IME don't go for just a male/female pair. I did this
and unfortunately the female got so stressed with Mr Mollie chasing her that
I lost her. In the end got another two females and now have an endless
supply of Mollie fry :-) . Of course if you don't want to get swamped with
fry try keeping just one sex together but bear in mind a lot of female
Mollies can be pregnant when you buy them.

Gill

[Gill Passman]

"Tom Randy" > wrote in message
.. .
> On Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:53:16 -0800, wrote:
>
> > Hi guys,
> >
> > I own a tank for more than a month now and right now I have mixed
feelings
> > about it.
> >
> > It is not what I expected it to be and I am starting to think of getting
> > rid of it.
> >
> > It has nothing to do of taking care of the fish, the money spent on
> > hardware.
> >
> > It's just I like animals and it stresses me to see fish die and I am the
> > one to blame for it due to my inexperience and for putting fish into a
> > tank and play with their lifes...
> >
> > I had fish that died because they got sucked into the filter, because
the
> > water didnt have the proper qualities and now because of disease...
> > It's a constant battle for me to take care of the fish and I am losing
it.
> >
> > Sorry for my venting but I am frustrated. Thanks
>
>
> I have lost 6 fish in the past month. It happens. I had to put one down
> tonight actually. An albino cory that was sick. I lost 3 rasboras and 3
> albino corys. I think the corys had a fungus on their mouth areas and the
> tails looked torn.
>
> Point is, it happens. Don't get too down about it.
>
> You'll do better soon. Really.
>
> Tom
>
>
>
Just lost 3 fish in the last 5 days - two from one tank and one from
another. And yes, I feel real bad each time I lose a fish but try to
understand why it has happened...sometimes there is no answer and other
times I look on it as a way of learning how to prevent it happening in the
future. This week I know one was my fault but I'm still bewildered about the
others. As Tom says "it happens" :-(

I've been reading your threads since you first got the tank and the
impression I got was that you were excited and enthusiastic about your new
venture. Wish I had found this group when I first started with my fishy
adventure last August - there is such a wealth of experience and great
people willing to help.

I'm sorry that you have had the problems that you have had but I think
almost everyone has/does come across similar issues and most, if not all,
have felt the same way as you do at the moment at some point - I know I
have/do everytime I lose a fish. The only way I find is to try and take a
positive attitude and learn through what has happened - each problem that I
encounter teaches me more and more about this hobby of ours - and IMO the
overall rewards of seeing a tank(s) of healthy, happy fish make everything
worth while.

Gill

[Tom Randy]

On Thu, 31 Mar 2005 19:21:48 -0800, wrote:

> Thanks guys...
>
> I just had a gourami that quit on me literally. it had popeye and I was
> coming home with some medecine... too late... I am still battling Ich but
> I thing the worse is gone for now.
>
> Damn fish like them too much.


I just had to have my dog put down. That is FAR WORSE. She was nearly 15.
Losing fish stinks but not as bad to me as losing a dog. It's like losing
a kid to me.

Tom

[Rocco Moretti]

wrote:
> Hi guys,
>
> I own a tank for more than a month now and right now I have mixed
> feelings about it.
>
> It is not what I expected it to be and I am starting to think of
> getting rid of it.
>
> It's just I like animals and it stresses me to see fish die and I am
> the one to blame for it due to my inexperience and for putting fish
> into a tank and play with their lifes...
>
> I had fish that died because they got sucked into the filter,
> because the water didnt have the proper qualities and now because of
> disease...
> It's a constant battle for me to take care of the fish and I am losing
> it.

I think one of the best pieces of advice that *anyone* starting off in
the hobby is simply: "Start slow and taper off from there."

I've just been reading "Nature Aquarium World" by Takashi Amano, and he
has a short story about a tank he had to set up for a resturant -
hundreds of gallons, the ceterpiece of the resturant, and he only had 18
hours to do it and get it to presentation quality for the grand opening.
He was able to pull it off, but not without a lot of effort. Going into
it he knew it wasn't a good idea, an afterwards he swore he'd never do
it again.

The thing he remarked upon, however, was listening to the people talk
about the tank, commenting on how it was set up in such a short time,
and remarking on how "easy" it was to keep tropical fish. "You can put
them in right after you set up the tank."

The reason it worked out was that Amano is a master and has a lot of
experience. For the rest of us, it's slow going and *a lot* of research
before doing anything.

Another comment that Amano made in the book was that the reason he got
where he is today was by making mistakes. Do the best you can to avoid
mistakes, but you're going to make mistakes at some point - sometimes
tragically (he notes one time where he killed all the fish in a tank
with a faulty CO2 setup). The key is to learn from the mistakes and not
get discouraged.

Start slow, start small (but not in regards to tank size or live plant
amount), and research, research, research. And don't be afraid to ask
questions, even stupid ones. We've all been there (some of us are still
there).

[Ray Martini]

This might sound pretty fu*ked up but losing my dog was more traumatic on me
than losing my mother. I never cried so hard in my life.


"Tom Randy" > wrote in message
. ..
> On Thu, 31 Mar 2005 19:21:48 -0800, wrote:
>
>> Thanks guys...
>>
>> I just had a gourami that quit on me literally. it had popeye and I was
>> coming home with some medecine... too late... I am still battling Ich but
>> I thing the worse is gone for now.
>>
>> Damn fish like them too much.
>
>
> I just had to have my dog put down. That is FAR WORSE. She was nearly 15.
> Losing fish stinks but not as bad to me as losing a dog. It's like losing
> a kid to me.
>
> Tom
>
>
>

[Ray Martini]

I too lost a tank full of marine fish to a crash. All died except my
beautiful Yellow Tang who looked so sick and pathetic. I too wanted to just
sell it all off and find something else to occupy by time. Instead I read
and gathered information from these newsgroups and other net sources, picked
the brains of the LFS's. My marine tank is now full of fish (and other
awesome marine life) again and thriving and the Yellow Tang looks fantastic
again.

The key to getting the marine tank better stabilized for me was the
installation of a UV Sterilizer. Best investment I ever made. I am going to
install them on my freshwater tanks as well.

It's part of the hobby I guess. Hang in there and know that everyone here is
pulling for you.



"Justin Boucher" > wrote in message
...
>I had an entire 240 gal marine system crash on me. I received a sick fish
> and the stress of moving made things worse. 8 fish later, I sold what I
> could and converted back to freshwater where I have nearly 20 years of
> fishkeeping experience. I still dream of sucsessfuly running a marine
> tank
> and have learned a lot of tricks that only experience can teach: Even
> after
> extensive reading on the marine system, the minute secrets aren't in most
> books.
>
> As for my new freshwater conversion, I still can lose fish in a new tank
> set
> up. Mostly, it's the dreaded cycle that claimes at least one fish life
> for
> me unless I have access to an established tank to where I can kidnap some
> mature filtration media.
>
> There are a lot of very knowledgable and helpful people available and this
> newsgroup is a great source. Spend some time reading, researching and
> asking questions to other sucessful aquarists. If you have a favorite
> fish
> that you would like to have, find others who keep them well and see if
> they
> can help. Experience is the best teacher and although there will always
> be
> some that we can only gain for ourselves, try to gather as much as you can
> from others.
>
> Justin
>
> > wrote in message
> ups.com...
>> Hi guys,
>>
>> I own a tank for more than a month now and right now I have mixed
>> feelings about it.
>>
>> It is not what I expected it to be and I am starting to think of
>> getting rid of it.
>>
>> It has nothing to do of taking care of the fish, the money spent on
>> hardware.
>>
>> It's just I like animals and it stresses me to see fish die and I am
>> the one to blame for it due to my inexperience and for putting fish
>> into a tank and play with their lifes...
>>
>> I had fish that died because they got sucked into the filter,
>> because the water didnt have the proper qualities and now because of
>> disease...
>> It's a constant battle for me to take care of the fish and I am losing
>> it.
>>
>> Sorry for my venting but I am frustrated.
>> Thanks
>>
>
>

[Angrie.Woman]

> wrote in message
oups.com...
> Thanks guys...
>
> I just had a gourami that quit on me literally. it had popeye and I was
> coming home with some medecine... too late...
> I am still battling Ich but I thing the worse is gone for now.
>
> Damn fish like them too much.

It's really tough to get a tank up and running. After you do though, it gets
much easier. I've had mine for about 20 years, and I don't remember the last
time I had a disease.

But I always always always use a quarantine tank.

A
>

[Angrie.Woman]

"Tom Randy" > wrote in message
. ..
> On Thu, 31 Mar 2005 19:21:48 -0800, wrote:
>
>> Thanks guys...
>>
>> I just had a gourami that quit on me literally. it had popeye and I was
>> coming home with some medecine... too late... I am still battling Ich but
>> I thing the worse is gone for now.
>>
>> Damn fish like them too much.
>
>
> I just had to have my dog put down. That is FAR WORSE. She was nearly 15.
> Losing fish stinks but not as bad to me as losing a dog. It's like losing
> a kid to me.
>

Oh Tom,

I'm so sorry for your loss! They leave such huge holes when they go.

A

[Justin Boucher]

Once my tank was contaminated, I too purchased a UV. Unfortunately, by the
time I got it set up, the damage was done.

However, from that experience, I will now use a UV on every tank I have
unless it compromises the food source for some animals (such as the
phytoplankton for some corals).

I have already made notes for my next run at marine. I'm going back to
school and a marine tank is just not practical at this time, but there is
one in the planning again. And this time, I have more experience on my
side.

Justin

"Ray Martini" > wrote in message
...
> I too lost a tank full of marine fish to a crash. All died except my
> beautiful Yellow Tang who looked so sick and pathetic. I too wanted to
just
> sell it all off and find something else to occupy by time. Instead I read
> and gathered information from these newsgroups and other net sources,
picked
> the brains of the LFS's. My marine tank is now full of fish (and other
> awesome marine life) again and thriving and the Yellow Tang looks
fantastic
> again.
>
> The key to getting the marine tank better stabilized for me was the
> installation of a UV Sterilizer. Best investment I ever made. I am going
to
> install them on my freshwater tanks as well.
>
> It's part of the hobby I guess. Hang in there and know that everyone here
is
> pulling for you.
>
>
>
> "Justin Boucher" > wrote in message
> ...
> >I had an entire 240 gal marine system crash on me. I received a sick
fish
> > and the stress of moving made things worse. 8 fish later, I sold what I
> > could and converted back to freshwater where I have nearly 20 years of
> > fishkeeping experience. I still dream of sucsessfuly running a marine
> > tank
> > and have learned a lot of tricks that only experience can teach: Even
> > after
> > extensive reading on the marine system, the minute secrets aren't in
most
> > books.
> >
> > As for my new freshwater conversion, I still can lose fish in a new tank
> > set
> > up. Mostly, it's the dreaded cycle that claimes at least one fish life
> > for
> > me unless I have access to an established tank to where I can kidnap
some
> > mature filtration media.
> >
> > There are a lot of very knowledgable and helpful people available and
this
> > newsgroup is a great source. Spend some time reading, researching and
> > asking questions to other sucessful aquarists. If you have a favorite
> > fish
> > that you would like to have, find others who keep them well and see if
> > they
> > can help. Experience is the best teacher and although there will always
> > be
> > some that we can only gain for ourselves, try to gather as much as you
can
> > from others.
> >
> > Justin
> >
> > > wrote in message
> > ups.com...
> >> Hi guys,
> >>
> >> I own a tank for more than a month now and right now I have mixed
> >> feelings about it.
> >>
> >> It is not what I expected it to be and I am starting to think of
> >> getting rid of it.
> >>
> >> It has nothing to do of taking care of the fish, the money spent on
> >> hardware.
> >>
> >> It's just I like animals and it stresses me to see fish die and I am
> >> the one to blame for it due to my inexperience and for putting fish
> >> into a tank and play with their lifes...
> >>
> >> I had fish that died because they got sucked into the filter,
> >> because the water didnt have the proper qualities and now because of
> >> disease...
> >> It's a constant battle for me to take care of the fish and I am losing
> >> it.
> >>
> >> Sorry for my venting but I am frustrated.
> >> Thanks
> >>
> >
> >
>
>

[Elaine T]

wrote:
> Hi guys,
>
> I own a tank for more than a month now and right now I have mixed
> feelings about it.
>
> It is not what I expected it to be and I am starting to think of
> getting rid of it.
>
> It has nothing to do of taking care of the fish, the money spent on
> hardware.
>
> It's just I like animals and it stresses me to see fish die and I am
> the one to blame for it due to my inexperience and for putting fish
> into a tank and play with their lifes...
>
> I had fish that died because they got sucked into the filter,
> because the water didnt have the proper qualities and now because of
> disease...
> It's a constant battle for me to take care of the fish and I am losing
> it.
>
> Sorry for my venting but I am frustrated.
> Thanks
>
Hang in there! I'm sorry you feel frustrated, but I sure understand it
because I lost fish at the start too. The first three months of your
first tank are the absolute hardest. New aquariums are HARD to run and
trying to cycle with too many or fragile fish is almost impossible to
manage. Unfortunately, the person with a new aquarium doesn't know this
and it's SO hard to tell them everything.

Daniel gave you some great advice on keeping the tank lightly stocked at
first. My favorite sturdy fish are gouramis, danios, corydoras catfish,
harlequin rasboras, gold and cherry barbs, and I've had good luck with
the deeper bodied tetras like black skirts, bleeding hearts, head and
taillights, and pristellas when I buy good sized fish. Tiny tetras are
harder. Beware serpaes because they're nippy.

As for plants, I love java moss, which grows well and absorbs nitrates
even under low light. Anubias grows slowly but is virtually unkillable,
and java fern is attractive and also low light. Cryptocoryne spp. are
also very tolerant of low light. I've found that it's hard to find the
warm water version of anacharis. Hornwort is good if you have the light
for it, as is Rotala indica or Hygrophila polysperma. It can't be
emphasized enough how much lots of plants do for the water quality in
fishtanks.

I actually managed to cycle my first 29 gallon tank with 5 black skirt
tetras intact. All heck didn't break loose until I started adding more
fish too fast. The bacteria didn't keep up, ich started, I got bad
advice to treat with only copper, and I lost a bunch of fish to ich.
The stress from ich and copper started the angel fish finrotting and my
water was too soft for mollies and so forth...

Anyway, it WILL get better since you're taking the time to learn. Think
of your tank as a new house that's only just gotten water and electric,
and you're still waiting on the phone and furniture to arrive. It will
become a good home for fish soon.

--
__ Elaine T __
><__'> http://eethomp.com/fish.html <'__><
rec.aquaria.* FAQ http://faq.thekrib.com

[Dick]

On 31 Mar 2005 15:53:16 -0800, "
> wrote:

>Hi guys,
>
>I own a tank for more than a month now and right now I have mixed
>feelings about it.
>
>It is not what I expected it to be and I am starting to think of
>getting rid of it.
>
>It has nothing to do of taking care of the fish, the money spent on
>hardware.
>
>It's just I like animals and it stresses me to see fish die and I am
>the one to blame for it due to my inexperience and for putting fish
>into a tank and play with their lifes...
>
>I had fish that died because they got sucked into the filter,
>because the water didnt have the proper qualities and now because of
>disease...
>It's a constant battle for me to take care of the fish and I am losing
>it.
>
>Sorry for my venting but I am frustrated.
>Thanks

Great you felt you could vent here. It is hard to play God. Things
get ill, die and then we gods make mistakes. I have known friends,
when I was in my twenties, that said they would "never fall in love
again" after a breakup with someone they "loved."

I have had to put my pet dogs to sleep for various reasons. I have
cried over them more than over the deaths of my parents. It hurts a
lot if you have any feelings. But, I cannot live without my lovely
dog friends. I have a 14 year old greyhound living on the edge. I
know I may have weeks or months with her and it hurts to think of it,
but I welcome every morning to see her and love her.

You may not be able to cope with such feelings. One must balance the
good and the bad. It is part of life. Perhaps you cannot live with
the bad things that happen. I know, as I approach 70 years of life, I
have rid myself of responsibilities so as to avoid unnecessary stress,
but my dogs and my fish are my closest companions. I don't want to
face a new morning without them.

You must do what is right for you. Stress is not a good companion.

dick

[Tom Randy]

On Sat, 02 Apr 2005 02:16:06 +0000, Angrie.Woman wrote:

>
> "Tom Randy" > wrote in message
> . ..
>> On Thu, 31 Mar 2005 19:21:48 -0800, wrote:
>>
>>> Thanks guys...
>>>
>>> I just had a gourami that quit on me literally. it had popeye and I was
>>> coming home with some medecine... too late... I am still battling Ich
>>> but I thing the worse is gone for now.
>>>
>>> Damn fish like them too much.
>>
>>
>> I just had to have my dog put down. That is FAR WORSE. She was nearly
>> 15. Losing fish stinks but not as bad to me as losing a dog. It's like
>> losing a kid to me.
>>
>>
> Oh Tom,
>
> I'm so sorry for your loss! They leave such huge holes when they go.
>
> A


Thanks. This hole will take a while to repair that's for sure.

[Fishy Fish]

Dick wrote:
> On 31 Mar 2005 15:53:16 -0800, "
> > wrote:
>
> >Hi guys,
> >
> >I own a tank for more than a month now and right now I have mixed
> >feelings about it.
> >
> >It is not what I expected it to be and I am starting to think of
> >getting rid of it.
> >
> >It has nothing to do of taking care of the fish, the money spent on
> >hardware.
> >
> >It's just I like animals and it stresses me to see fish die and I am
> >the one to blame for it due to my inexperience and for putting fish
> >into a tank and play with their lifes...
> >
> >I had fish that died because they got sucked into the filter,
> >because the water didnt have the proper qualities and now because of
> >disease...
> >It's a constant battle for me to take care of the fish and I am
losing
> >it.
> >
> >Sorry for my venting but I am frustrated.
> >Thanks
>
> Great you felt you could vent here. It is hard to play God. Things
> get ill, die and then we gods make mistakes. I have known friends,
> when I was in my twenties, that said they would "never fall in love
> again" after a breakup with someone they "loved."
>
> I have had to put my pet dogs to sleep for various reasons. I have
> cried over them more than over the deaths of my parents. It hurts a
> lot if you have any feelings. But, I cannot live without my lovely
> dog friends. I have a 14 year old greyhound living on the edge. I
> know I may have weeks or months with her and it hurts to think of it,
> but I welcome every morning to see her and love her.
>
> You may not be able to cope with such feelings. One must balance the
> good and the bad. It is part of life. Perhaps you cannot live with
> the bad things that happen. I know, as I approach 70 years of life,
I
> have rid myself of responsibilities so as to avoid unnecessary
stress,
> but my dogs and my fish are my closest companions. I don't want to
> face a new morning without them.
>
> You must do what is right for you. Stress is not a good companion.
>
> dick

Hey remember: They are just fish!!! They are cool and all but at the
end of the day they are still just fish!! I lost many in the last 2
months and flushed a few meanies. It sucks when you find a dead sucked
into the filter, but still it is fun and for the bad problems I will
still keep fighting the dreaded ICH!!! and keep my tanks, and look for
more tanks. Because it is cool when the fish come to the top of the
tank to eat color brite pellets one at a time as I drop them in. So
don't give up!!!

[bettasngoldfish]

Some people look at fish as pets not something disposable which they
can flush down the toilet (which by the way is very cruel) when they
are no longer wanted. Just my two cents!

[Angrie.Woman]

"Tom Randy" > wrote in message
. ..
> On Sat, 02 Apr 2005 02:16:06 +0000, Angrie.Woman wrote:
>
>>
>> "Tom Randy" > wrote in message
>> . ..
>>> On Thu, 31 Mar 2005 19:21:48 -0800, wrote:
>>>
>>>> Thanks guys...
>>>>
>>>> I just had a gourami that quit on me literally. it had popeye and I was
>>>> coming home with some medecine... too late... I am still battling Ich
>>>> but I thing the worse is gone for now.
>>>>
>>>> Damn fish like them too much.
>>>
>>>
>>> I just had to have my dog put down. That is FAR WORSE. She was nearly
>>> 15. Losing fish stinks but not as bad to me as losing a dog. It's like
>>> losing a kid to me.
>>>
>>>
>> Oh Tom,
>>
>> I'm so sorry for your loss! They leave such huge holes when they go.
>>
>> A
>
>
> Thanks. This hole will take a while to repair that's for sure.

I put mine down when she was 17.5, probably 5 years ago now. I still miss
her every day. But, and I know this is a very personal choice, I got a new
dog almost right away. I didn't plan to, but the house felt so empty
without her. I was such a basket case, I had to try something. I got a lot
of comfort out of the new dog.

A

[Angrie.Woman]

"bettasngoldfish" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> Some people look at fish as pets not something disposable which they
> can flush down the toilet (which by the way is very cruel) when they
> are no longer wanted. Just my two cents!

I'm with you. They're not "just fish" to me either. If I had a meanie, I'd
have to just go huy another tank.

A
>

[Nikki Casali]

Angrie.Woman wrote:
> "bettasngoldfish" > wrote in message
> oups.com...
>
>>Some people look at fish as pets not something disposable which they
>>can flush down the toilet (which by the way is very cruel) when they
>>are no longer wanted. Just my two cents!
>
>
> I'm with you. They're not "just fish" to me either. If I had a meanie, I'd
> have to just go huy another tank.

Unanimous. Animals suffer too, not just the homo sapien variety. The
difference is that animals don't have a voice to communicate that. Any
half decent, mature adult human would know that.

Nikki

[Gill Passman]

> wrote in message
ups.com...
> Hi guys,
>
> I own a tank for more than a month now and right now I have mixed
> feelings about it.
>
> It is not what I expected it to be and I am starting to think of
> getting rid of it.
>
> It has nothing to do of taking care of the fish, the money spent on
> hardware.
>
> It's just I like animals and it stresses me to see fish die and I am
> the one to blame for it due to my inexperience and for putting fish
> into a tank and play with their lifes...
>
> I had fish that died because they got sucked into the filter,
> because the water didnt have the proper qualities and now because of
> disease...
> It's a constant battle for me to take care of the fish and I am losing
> it.
>
> Sorry for my venting but I am frustrated.
> Thanks
>
Hey today I had a real eventful fishy day....but wouldn't swop it for the
world....

One of my larger Clown Loaches got held prisoner by my Pl*co....see later
post. Thankfully he got free...but watching the other Clown's (I have 6 in
total) sitting around trying to get him free was worth everything....their
joy and dancing once he broke free was priceless.....

I also got a new Betta today to replace the one I lost last week (through my
own ignorance I'm sure)...the delight of seeing him getting used to his new
home and swimming around happily....again it is priceless....

And yes, I've lost some fish along the way on my venture...but have been
fortunate that it has not been too many.....with my latest tank I still hold
my breath when I do the water tests.....still waiting for it to completely
cycle.

The only real answer is to listen to what everyone says regarding stocking
with your new fish...patience is everything.....follow the rules and you
WILL have a happy outcome.

I'm real sorry your experience hasn't been good to date but hang in there
and it will be.....

[Lisa]

Sometimes, I am caught by the fact that aquarium fish-keeping is, in
essence, a somewhat "unnatural" hobby. Often, these fish are taken
from different regions and ecosystems of the world, and they are not
evolved to the aquarium "indoor" life in captivity. Why do we do it?
I can't speak for others, but for me it combines a strong nurturing
instinct (I am also an avid gardener - I SWEAR that these 2 hobbies are
related) with a strong response to the challenge of the whole
enterprise. Create an entire mini-eco-system so that fish from South
Africa grow and thrive in an indoor aquarium in Cleveland, Ohio? Hey,
no problem! I can do that!

At any rate, I know it's a hard thing, to lose fish. I lost 3 female
Colisa Lalia (Dwarf Gouramis) to dropsy/bloat in one month. (All from
the same fish store, BTW.) I keep thinking about what I might have
done wrong, and what I could have done to avoid it. I still don't
know. Also, 5 years ago, my favorite fish was a 3-y-o Blue Gourami
that finally succumbed to Old Tank Syndrome (OTS) because I wasn't
experienced enough to known about the importance of water changes when
I was a teenager. I can understand the guilt - and the hurt. We are
SO responsible for the lives of these small creatures!

I would suggest that you keep the faith. It's a neat hobby. To feel
responsibility for the lives of other living things can only be a good
thing, IMO. Don't let the losses get you down too much - it hurts, and
you can feel like a 100% failure, but the real failures never CARE
enough to learn about their mistakes and never try to improve their
fishkeeping abilities. So, you are (much) better than average! With
your sensitivity, I am sure that you will become a great aquarist.
Maybe, I will be one too, someday.

- Lisa in Central Coast CA, USA


Tom Randy wrote:
> On Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:53:16 -0800, wrote:
>
> > Hi guys,
> >
> > I own a tank for more than a month now and right now I have mixed
feelings
> > about it.
> >
> > It is not what I expected it to be and I am starting to think of
getting
> > rid of it.
> >
> > It has nothing to do of taking care of the fish, the money spent on
> > hardware.
> >
> > It's just I like animals and it stresses me to see fish die and I
am the
> > one to blame for it due to my inexperience and for putting fish
into a
> > tank and play with their lifes...
> >
> > I had fish that died because they got sucked into the filter,
because the
> > water didnt have the proper qualities and now because of disease...
> > It's a constant battle for me to take care of the fish and I am
losing it.
> >
> > Sorry for my venting but I am frustrated. Thanks
>
>
> I have lost 6 fish in the past month. It happens. I had to put one
down
> tonight actually. An albino cory that was sick. I lost 3 rasboras and
3
> albino corys. I think the corys had a fungus on their mouth areas and
the
> tails looked torn.
>
> Point is, it happens. Don't get too down about it.
>
> You'll do better soon. Really.
>
> Tom