Beta Fish lasted for a one year

[Finite Guy]

Hi All: We had a Beta fish that we got last year. Today we discovered
that he/she was no longer among the living. Last night when I fed
him he seemed a little slow sort of hiding in the roots of the peace
lily. We really took good care of this fish, always fed him and
replaced the water on a regular basis.

My 13 year old daughter was devistated over this. I tried to explain
to her that fish generally don't live very long and this is a natural
thing that one must expect. That explantaiton of course doesn't help.

We also have a pet budgie that talks. He is only 3 years old. God help
us when he goes. Hopefully that won't happen for a while. Not sure
what my wife and daughter will do, not to mention that I wll also feel
bad.

Anyone have any pointers on how to help kids through the death of a
pet?

She says she doesn't wnat another fish but maybe that will change next
week.


Robert

[blove]

hmm, dont know how to explain to kids but i know when one of my pets die i
still cry and im 21! bettas usually live from 2 to 4 yrs, its also hard to
say how old the fish is at the petstore too unless u get it from a breeder.
id ditch the peace lilly and plant it with some dirt, they will do better.
the roots tend to rot in the water cuz they arent true aquatic plants. your
next betta will do alot better if it was just him in the vase and you put a
fake fabric plant that he can sit on and swim through. www.bettatalk.com is
an excellant site for betta info.


"Finite Guy" > wrote in message
...
> Hi All: We had a Beta fish that we got last year. Today we discovered
> that he/she was no longer among the living. Last night when I fed
> him he seemed a little slow sort of hiding in the roots of the peace
> lily. We really took good care of this fish, always fed him and
> replaced the water on a regular basis.
>
> My 13 year old daughter was devistated over this. I tried to explain
> to her that fish generally don't live very long and this is a natural
> thing that one must expect. That explantaiton of course doesn't help.
>
> We also have a pet budgie that talks. He is only 3 years old. God help
> us when he goes. Hopefully that won't happen for a while. Not sure
> what my wife and daughter will do, not to mention that I wll also feel
> bad.
>
> Anyone have any pointers on how to help kids through the death of a
> pet?
>
> She says she doesn't wnat another fish but maybe that will change next
> week.
>
>
> Robert
>

[Tedd]

"Finite Guy" > wrote in message
...
> Hi All: We had a Beta fish that we got last year. Today we discovered
> that he/she was no longer among the living. Last night when I fed
> him he seemed a little slow sort of hiding in the roots of the peace
> lily. We really took good care of this fish, always fed him and
> replaced the water on a regular basis.
>
> My 13 year old daughter was devistated over this. I tried to explain
> to her that fish generally don't live very long and this is a natural
> thing that one must expect. That explantaiton of course doesn't help.
>
> We also have a pet budgie that talks. He is only 3 years old. God help
> us when he goes. Hopefully that won't happen for a while. Not sure
> what my wife and daughter will do, not to mention that I wll also feel
> bad.
>
> Anyone have any pointers on how to help kids through the death of a
> pet?
>
> She says she doesn't wnat another fish but maybe that will change next
> week.
>
>
> Robert
>

being the father of a 12 year old daughter myself i can truely sympathize! what
has worked the best for us in these cases (and i know this is going to sound
rough) is to just harden our hearts, let them have a good cry, say "thats just
the way of things", shrug, give them a hug and walk away. i agree it sounds cold
as hell to do, but the reality of it is, things die and we still have to keep
going. she has a goldfish now but knows one day its gonna die and that we wont
have any other choice than to just accept it.

this is all certainly only one opinion out of a few billion available, get as
many others as you can. best of luck to you dad. and for what it's worth,... i
still cry sometimes too. ;-)

tedd.

[Donald Kerns]

Finite Guy wrote:

> Anyone have any pointers on how to help kids through the death of a
> pet?
>

Point out how well you've taken care of them and how well they lived the
life that they had with you.

It is part of the hobby, but a tough one.

Try here...
http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

And yes, *I* cry when I lose one of my buddies too. Life is a very
fragile and wonderful thing, it's meaningless loss is something to be
mourned.

-Donald

--
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is
pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is
excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things. Philippians 4:8

[~Vicki ~]

I have two kids ages 15 and 8 and they too have had to live with the
loss of a "friend". It is never easy and even at my age I still feel
the pain of loosing a member of the family. I can't tell you how to
deal with your child's loss because everyone greaves differently. I
have a girlfriend who cried for months when her cat died. And I have
friends who morn for a day or two and then are fine. When my daughter
lost one of her ferrets last year it helped her to be a part of his
internment. She helped her dad dig the grave and burry him with one of
his favorite toys, his blanket and was able to say good bye. She cried
for a few days but we were very comforting and explained that these
things happen even with the very best of care.



Vicki

[RedForeman ©®]

> Anyone have any pointers on how to help kids through the death of a
> pet?
> She says she doesn't wnat another fish but maybe that will change next
> week.

Man... my wife is a witness to my own distress when I lose a little one...
And sometimes, I'm the one needing some reassurance that I did everything
right, that it wasn't my fault, and that I did the best I could, and it
enjoyed it's time with me.... Sometimes, I hate to admit it, but I'm a big
kid at heart... and I do have a big heart.... and to be such small
creatures, they can grow on you pretty good, and WHEN death happens, no
matter how old you are, it's hard to see past the event... Children need
encouragement, security, and time... It seems they already have good
guidance, experience, and it seems a good heart too...

Hopefully, in a few days, week, you can mention maybe going to the LFS to
see what new babies they have... might just find something to fill that
temporary, but very empty void....

[Finite Guy]

Hi All: Thanks for your kind words about how to help my daughter
handle the loss of her Beta Fish. She told my wife today that she
wants to get another one soon. She wants to bury the one that died
(she named he/she Angel when she got him at our church craft fair last
year) under our rose bush.

As I said before, its going to be really tough when our talking
parakeet goes. Hopefully that won't happen for several years.

Robert


On Wed, 22 Oct 2003 14:54:13 -0400, "RedForeman ©®"
> wrote:

>> Anyone have any pointers on how to help kids through the death of a
>> pet?
>> She says she doesn't wnat another fish but maybe that will change next
>> week.
>
>Man... my wife is a witness to my own distress when I lose a little one...
>And sometimes, I'm the one needing some reassurance that I did everything
>right, that it wasn't my fault, and that I did the best I could, and it
>enjoyed it's time with me.... Sometimes, I hate to admit it, but I'm a big
>kid at heart... and I do have a big heart.... and to be such small
>creatures, they can grow on you pretty good, and WHEN death happens, no
>matter how old you are, it's hard to see past the event... Children need
>encouragement, security, and time... It seems they already have good
>guidance, experience, and it seems a good heart too...
>
>Hopefully, in a few days, week, you can mention maybe going to the LFS to
>see what new babies they have... might just find something to fill that
>temporary, but very empty void....
>
>

[RedForeman ©®]

fish are great avenues of preparation for bigger, longer living, more
attached animals....

recently lost a domestic tabby, we inherited from my wifes parents, due to
an allergin... this cat was special, was found at 4wks, gray matter
exposed... never expected to live... he did... turned out to be a very smart
cat..slow, but smart...

even only having him 9 months, I still have days where I miss him, and only
because we sat together every night since he moved in... our other two cats
still go look for him in his room, our golden retriever saw him get hit, and
actually howled for an hour after we found him... the dog was as distressed
as we were....and after the hour of howling, came and sat at my feet, and
put her head in my lap, and closed her eyes, and I could see the tears
welled in her eyes... She and Mario had been buddies since he moved in....

I want to get another, but I dont want to 'replace' what I lost... because I
cherish that cat, doesn't make me want to fill it, or make less of it by
getting another one.... time has to heal a wound, and only time will allow
me to get another friend....

Good luck
"Finite Guy" > wrote in message
...
> Hi All: Thanks for your kind words about how to help my daughter
> handle the loss of her Beta Fish. She told my wife today that she
> wants to get another one soon. She wants to bury the one that died
> (she named he/she Angel when she got him at our church craft fair last
> year) under our rose bush.
>
> As I said before, its going to be really tough when our talking
> parakeet goes. Hopefully that won't happen for several years.
>
> Robert
>
>
> On Wed, 22 Oct 2003 14:54:13 -0400, "RedForeman ©®"
> > wrote:
>
> >> Anyone have any pointers on how to help kids through the death of a
> >> pet?
> >> She says she doesn't wnat another fish but maybe that will change next
> >> week.
> >
> >Man... my wife is a witness to my own distress when I lose a little
one...
> >And sometimes, I'm the one needing some reassurance that I did everything
> >right, that it wasn't my fault, and that I did the best I could, and it
> >enjoyed it's time with me.... Sometimes, I hate to admit it, but I'm a
big
> >kid at heart... and I do have a big heart.... and to be such small
> >creatures, they can grow on you pretty good, and WHEN death happens, no
> >matter how old you are, it's hard to see past the event... Children need
> >encouragement, security, and time... It seems they already have good
> >guidance, experience, and it seems a good heart too...
> >
> >Hopefully, in a few days, week, you can mention maybe going to the LFS to
> >see what new babies they have... might just find something to fill that
> >temporary, but very empty void....
> >
> >
>