OT Pet Joke

[~ janj]

Figure most here could relate to this one I found on Koiphen:

Letter to My Pets:

When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch positions
with each other so there are still two of you in my way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. All other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note that placing your paw
print in the middle of MY plate of food does not stake a claim making it
YOUR plate and food.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me
to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help in your quest to
reach the bottom first, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think that I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
your comfort. Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It
is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another, stretched out to
the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out
and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing
but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under
the edge of the door and try to pull it open. I must exit through the same
door I entered. Honest. Also, I have been using the bathroom by myself for
quite some time --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

I can't stress this one enough -- kiss me, THEN go sniff the other pet's
behind.


To pacify you, my dear companions, I have posted the following notice on
our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and then Complain About Our Pets
1. The pets live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why it's call "fur"niture.)
3. To you, our pets are just animals! To us, they are a member of the
family who happens to be hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak
clearly.
4. Dogs and cats are better than kids because:
---- they don't ask for money all the time
---- they are easier to train
---- they usually come when called
---- they don't hang out with drug-using friends
---- they don't need a gazillion dollars for a college education, and
---- if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.


~ jan/WA
Zone 7a

[Gill Passman]

~ janj wrote:
> Figure most here could relate to this one I found on Koiphen:
>
> Letter to My Pets:
>
> When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch positions
> with each other so there are still two of you in my way.
>
> The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. All other
> dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note that placing your paw
> print in the middle of MY plate of food does not stake a claim making it
> YOUR plate and food.
>
> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me
> to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help in your quest to
> reach the bottom first, because I fall faster than you can run.
>
> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
> this. Do not think that I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
> your comfort. Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It
> is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another, stretched out to
> the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out
> and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing
> but sarcasm.
>
> For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
> miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
> necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under
> the edge of the door and try to pull it open. I must exit through the same
> door I entered. Honest. Also, I have been using the bathroom by myself for
> quite some time --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
>
> I can't stress this one enough -- kiss me, THEN go sniff the other pet's
> behind.
>
>
> To pacify you, my dear companions, I have posted the following notice on
> our front door:
> Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and then Complain About Our Pets
> 1. The pets live here. You don't.
> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
> (That's why it's call "fur"niture.)
> 3. To you, our pets are just animals! To us, they are a member of the
> family who happens to be hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak
> clearly.
> 4. Dogs and cats are better than kids because:
> ---- they don't ask for money all the time
> ---- they are easier to train
> ---- they usually come when called
> ---- they don't hang out with drug-using friends
> ---- they don't need a gazillion dollars for a college education, and
> ---- if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.
>
>
> ~ jan/WA
> Zone 7a

LOL - read this just after fighting the dog to get out the kitchen first :-)

[Gail Futoran]

"~ janj" > wrote in message
...
> Figure most here could relate to this one I found on Koiphen:
>
> Letter to My Pets:
>
[snip]

Jan, that's the best laugh I've had in weeks. I
had to make a new folder to keep it and I
plan to inflict it on most of my friends/family.

Thanks!

Gail
near San Antonio TX Zone 8

[Derek Broughton]

~ janj wrote:

> 4. Dogs and cats are better than kids because:
> ---- they don't ask for money all the time
....
> ---- they don't need a gazillion dollars for a college education, and

Mine just needs the gazillion dollars for porcupine quill extraction...

Bella's visited the emergency clinic for quill removal 4 times now, last
time on Christmas day. She won't learn - and apparently neither can we,
since last time she got out a gate one of us left open.
--
derek

[Jan Schubert]

~ janj wrote:
> ~ jan/WA
> Zone 7a

Just wondering what this Zone means which could be read on some articles
here. I guess it is something special for the US, is'nt it? Could
someone enlight me please?

Thx,
Jan

[Mr. Gardener]

On Sun, 12 Mar 2006 15:06:41 +0100, Jan Schubert
> wrote:

>~ janj wrote:
>> ~ jan/WA
>> Zone 7a
>
>Just wondering what this Zone means which could be read on some articles
>here. I guess it is something special for the US, is'nt it? Could
>someone enlight me please?
>
>Thx,
>Jan

It's all here - http://www2.dicom.se/fuchsias/usdazones.html
-- Mister Gardener

[NetMax]

"Mr. Gardener" > wrote in message
...
> On Sun, 12 Mar 2006 15:06:41 +0100, Jan Schubert
> > wrote:
>
>>~ janj wrote:
>>> ~ jan/WA
>>> Zone 7a
>>
>>Just wondering what this Zone means which could be read on some
>>articles
>>here. I guess it is something special for the US, is'nt it? Could
>>someone enlight me please?
>>
>>Thx,
>>Jan
>
> It's all here - http://www2.dicom.se/fuchsias/usdazones.html
> -- Mister Gardener

I'm a 5a until I walk about 100ft up my backyard into 4b country ;~).
There should be special awards of merit for perseverance (or masochism
;~) for ponders in Canada. Power failure + sub-zero weather, and you can
hear the ponders outside overnight, chipping the ice, drinking hot
chocolate, cursing up a storm.

Personally, I think someone needs to invent an inexpensive anti-freeze
(food grade glycol) which fish can breath, to fill our ponds over the
winter. Then we would have the coolest Canadian ponds.
--
www.NetMax.tk

[Marco Schwarz]

Hi..

> It's all here -

Thanks. I'm a 6..! :-)
--
cu
Marco

[Marco Schwarz]

Hi..

> 4. Dogs and cats are better than kids because:
> ---- they don't ask for money all the time
> ---- they are easier to train
> ---- they usually come when called
> ---- they don't hang out with drug-using friends
> ---- they don't need a gazillion dollars for a college
> education, and ---- if they get pregnant, you can sell the
> children.

:-)

--
cu
Marco

[Richard Sexton]

In article >,
NetMax > wrote:
>> It's all here - http://www2.dicom.se/fuchsias/usdazones.html
>> -- Mister Gardener
>
>I'm a 5a until I walk about 100ft up my backyard into 4b country ;~).
>There should be special awards of merit for perseverance (or masochism
>;~) for ponders in Canada. Power failure + sub-zero weather, and you can
>hear the ponders outside overnight, chipping the ice, drinking hot
>chocolate, cursing up a storm.
>
>Personally, I think someone needs to invent an inexpensive anti-freeze
>(food grade glycol) which fish can breath, to fill our ponds over the
>winter. Then we would have the coolest Canadian ponds.

My brother lives in Sask. and sent me a "Prairie hardy" plant
catalog from some place in Manitoba. I'm in 5a/4b too and this catalog
considers that "balmy"; they have all sort of things bred for these
cold climes, roses and other perennials that you don't nrmally
associate with igloos, snowshoes and polar bears.

But, the ones that caught my attention were the orange and cherry trees.
There is some kind of Chinese orange tree that thrives in our special
kind of winter wonderland. And grapes, and kiwis and all sort of thigns
you could plant to really confuse your neighbors.

An orange tree. Yeah, that's what I need. Gotta start me an arctic orange grove.



--
My only working email address is on my home page
Richard Sexton | Mercedes stuff: http://mbz.org
1970 280SE, 72 280SE | Home page: http://rs79.vrx.net
633CSi 250SE/C 300SD | http://aquaria.net http://killi.net

[~ janj]

On Sun, 12 Mar 2006 17:12:12 +0000 (UTC), (Richard
Sexton) wrote:

>An orange tree. Yeah, that's what I need. Gotta start me an arctic orange grove.

Now that sounds interesting.

We had really cold weather starting in late November and lasting till Xmas,
where it stayed below freezing the majority of that time. I had 2 tubs of
water plants left out and a bonsai Russian Olive tree. I noted yesterday
that the water parsley, corkscrew, & iris are still alive in the tubs. I'm
quite sure those tubs froze solid. The Russian Olive looks like it has buds
on the bark. To think all those years of going thru the bother of digging
it in weren't necessary. :-) ~ jan


~ jan/WA
Zone 7a

[Richard Sexton]

In article >,
~ janj > wrote:
>We had really cold weather starting in late November and lasting till Xmas,
>where it stayed below freezing the majority of that time. I had 2 tubs of
>water plants left out and a bonsai Russian Olive tree. I noted yesterday
>that the water parsley, corkscrew, & iris are still alive in the tubs. I'm
>quite sure those tubs froze solid. The Russian Olive looks like it has buds
>on the bark. To think all those years of going thru the bother of digging
>it in weren't necessary. :-) ~ jan

Russian Olive seems to overwinter here just fine, to the point where I'd say it
seems to like colder climates. Maybe se have Siberian Olives instead or something.

--
Need Mercedes parts? http://parts.mbz.org
Richard Sexton | Mercedes stuff: http://mbz.org
1970 280SE, 72 280SE | Home pages: http://rs79.vrx.net
633CSi 250SE/C 300SD | http://aquaria.net http://killi.net

[Philip Lewis]

Jan Schubert > writes:
>~ janj wrote:
>> ~ jan/WA
>> Zone 7a
>Just wondering what this Zone means which could be read on some articles
United states Department of agriculture Hardiness zone.
http://www.usna.usda.gov/Hardzone/ushzmap.html
http://www.google.com/search?q=USDA+Zone+maps

Should get you going.

It is a representation of average minimum temp...
7a is -15.0 to -17.7 C

hope that helps.


--
May no harm befall you,
flip
Pittsburgh PA, Zone 5b/6a
Ich habe keine Ahnung was das bedeutet, oder vielleicht doch?
Remove origin of the word spam from address to reply (leave "+")

[[email protected]]

I chose to cover the pond with a "tent" so even with power failure the water doesnt
really freeze. other than that, those further north into 3 country wait until the
water freezes 2-3 inches then draws the water down another couple inches leaving the
ice "cap" with an air buffer no more water freezes. the hole stays open.
Ingrid

"NetMax" > wrote:
>I'm a 5a until I walk about 100ft up my backyard into 4b country ;~).
>There should be special awards of merit for perseverance (or masochism
>;~) for ponders in Canada. Power failure + sub-zero weather, and you can
>hear the ponders outside overnight, chipping the ice, drinking hot
>chocolate, cursing up a storm.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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http://weloveteaching.com/puregold/
sign up: http://groups.google.com/groups/dir?hl=en&q=puregold&qt_s=Group+lookup
www.drsolo.com
Solve the problem, dont waste energy finding who's to blame
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I receive no compensation for running the Puregold list or Puregold website.
I do not run nor receive any money from the ads at the old Puregold site.

[NetMax]

Ingrid, that's quite clever. I'm going to take a look at the draft angle
of their pond's sides.
thanks!
--
www.NetMax.tk

> wrote in message
...
>I chose to cover the pond with a "tent" so even with power failure the
>water doesnt
> really freeze. other than that, those further north into 3 country
> wait until the
> water freezes 2-3 inches then draws the water down another couple
> inches leaving the
> ice "cap" with an air buffer no more water freezes. the hole stays
> open.
> Ingrid
>
> "NetMax" > wrote:
>>I'm a 5a until I walk about 100ft up my backyard into 4b country ;~).
>>There should be special awards of merit for perseverance (or masochism
>>;~) for ponders in Canada. Power failure + sub-zero weather, and you
>>can
>>hear the ponders outside overnight, chipping the ice, drinking hot
>>chocolate, cursing up a storm.
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> List Manager: Puregold Goldfish List at
> http://weloveteaching.com/puregold/
> sign up:
> http://groups.google.com/groups/dir?hl=en&q=puregold&qt_s=Group+lookup
> www.drsolo.com
> Solve the problem, dont waste energy finding who's to blame
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> I receive no compensation for running the Puregold list or Puregold
> website.
> I do not run nor receive any money from the ads at the old Puregold
> site.

[NetMax]

I imagine that some holes would need to be drilled through this ice cap
for O2/CO2 exchange. The surface is 320 sq.ft. Anyone have suggestions
on hole diameter, quantity and distribution?
tia
--
www.NetMax.tk

"NetMax" > wrote in message
...
> Ingrid, that's quite clever. I'm going to take a look at the draft
> angle of their pond's sides.
> thanks!
> --
> www.NetMax.tk
>
> > wrote in message
> ...
>>I chose to cover the pond with a "tent" so even with power failure the
>>water doesnt
>> really freeze. other than that, those further north into 3 country
>> wait until the
>> water freezes 2-3 inches then draws the water down another couple
>> inches leaving the
>> ice "cap" with an air buffer no more water freezes. the hole stays
>> open.
>> Ingrid
>>
>> "NetMax" > wrote:
>>>I'm a 5a until I walk about 100ft up my backyard into 4b country ;~).
>>>There should be special awards of merit for perseverance (or masochism
>>>;~) for ponders in Canada. Power failure + sub-zero weather, and you
>>>can
>>>hear the ponders outside overnight, chipping the ice, drinking hot
>>>chocolate, cursing up a storm.
>>
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> List Manager: Puregold Goldfish List at
>> http://weloveteaching.com/puregold/
>> sign up:
>> http://groups.google.com/groups/dir?hl=en&q=puregold&qt_s=Group+lookup
>> www.drsolo.com
>> Solve the problem, dont waste energy finding who's to blame
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> I receive no compensation for running the Puregold list or Puregold
>> website.
>> I do not run nor receive any money from the ads at the old Puregold
>> site.
>
>

[[email protected]]

a 12" square hole (reciprocating saw) outta do it. I personally prefer 1" spade bit
on a cordless when my ponds froze over. Ingrid

"NetMax" > wrote:

>I imagine that some holes would need to be drilled through this ice cap
>for O2/CO2 exchange. The surface is 320 sq.ft. Anyone have suggestions
>on hole diameter, quantity and distribution?
>tia



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
List Manager: Puregold Goldfish List at
http://weloveteaching.com/puregold/
sign up: http://groups.google.com/groups/dir?hl=en&q=puregold&qt_s=Group+lookup
www.drsolo.com
Solve the problem, dont waste energy finding who's to blame
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I receive no compensation for running the Puregold list or Puregold website.
I do not run nor receive any money from the ads at the old Puregold site.

[Wilmdale]

NetMax wrote:

>I imagine that some holes would need to be drilled through this ice cap
>for O2/CO2 exchange. The surface is 320 sq.ft. Anyone have suggestions
>on hole diameter, quantity and distribution?
>tia
>
>
Nice tiny stream of HOT water to "cut" through the ice with little or
now sound to excite the fish. Just a thought. :-) .
W. Dale