Y'all put your sunglasses on please!

[~Roy~]

Carol Gulley is out and about showing her lilly white ass as usual,
and I hate to see anyone get blinded by the light reflected off that
huge moon she totes around. I bet she has to have a wide load permit
to walk the streets of Mt. Juliet.


-------
I forgot more about ponds and koi than I'll ever know!

[Shad~Roe]

Roy, you really need to seek professional help at your local VA hospital
before you commit
suicide or kill someone in your impotent vein popping, spittle spewing
useless rage. They know how to help you there. We can't help you. We're
not qualified Dr's. They can put you back on meds..... you wont
be in such pain and misery.

"~Roy~" > wrote in message
...
> Carol Gulley is out and about showing her lilly white ass as usual,
> and I hate to see anyone get blinded by the light reflected off that
> huge moon she totes around. I bet she has to have a wide load permit
> to walk the streets of Mt. Juliet.
>
>
> -------
> I forgot more about ponds and koi than I'll ever know!

[Shad~Roe]

These are just a few examples of what you can expect from Mr. Roy "Tristan"
Hauer.
Remember, he can be your friend one minute and the next....... well, see
for yourselves. No one can justify what this person posts. No one can
force him to post what he doesn't want to post as he's an adult.

NOTE = X-RATED:

----- Original Message ----- 1
From: "Tristan" > Roy "Tristan" Hauer
Newsgroups: rec.ponds
Sent: Sunday, December 17, 2006 9:46 AM
Subject: Re: Attn: all true rec.ponders -please post to
news.groups.proposals -from ron
>
> Hey Gail , suck my cock you whineing ****head! There how is that if
> you think I used provocative language, before, yo lied. Now yu have a
> ****ing reason to whine, bitch!
---------------------------------- 2
"~Roy~" > Roy "Tristan" Hauer
wrote in message ...
> Ahhhhhhhhh, so if its not Miss Legale all 350+ pounds of her....whats
> a matter there fat ass you like the attention you got before and had
> to come back for more.......or do you plan to grab info and then slam
> the group again?
>
> -------
> I forgot more about ponds and koi than I'll ever know!
..---------------------------------- 3
"Tristin" > Roy "Tristan" Hauer
wrote in message ...
>
> That **** is easily circumvenbted there dip**** Your destined to be a
> dumbass all your life Wayne. There is a life besides selling dead pets
> and supporting trolls ya know!

------------------------------------ 4

"Dan Rather" > wrote in message
... a Roy "Tristan" Hauer
sock-puppet:
> Hey Ed Alston...do you also wear panties and a dress when you go by
> the name of Millie? I bet you do your wife and momma proud! You old
> cocksucker you!
>
> Now I am out of here, I do not have time to play with you jerkoffs
> that are just small potatoes, who will never amount to anything other
> than dog **** between the toes of Carol Gulley......
>
> I'll drop in from time to time just to keep things the way I left
> them! hahahahahaha ya ****ing looser, so don't get too comfy!
> You can reach -Ed Alston at

-------------------------------- 5
Roy" > wrote in message -- Roy "Tristan" Hauer
...

>><> Hey Ron, you can go **** yourself too....and then lick my ass, I could
>><> give a flying **** what yuou google up or google down, it matters not
>><> to me. I am not afraid to own up to anything I posted anywhere
>><>
>><>
>><> ==============================================
>><> Put some color in your cheeks...garden naked!
>><> "The original frugal ponder"

More if you can stomach it.

http://tinyurl.com/7v7dy
http://tinyurl.com/7qedv
http://tinyurl.com/cwsb8
http://tinyurl.com/beq9v
http://tinyurl.com/7z7k7
http://tinyurl.com/aeyw2
http://tinyurl.com/beq9v
http://tinyurl.com/djx7k
http://tinyurl.com/b8dm5
http://tinyurl.com/8cjaa
http://tinyurl.com/d824w
http://tinyurl.com/bh2hc
http://tinyurl.com/bvlvt
http://tinyurl.com/7v7dy
http://tinyurl.com/88coj

USE CAUTION when replying to this person.

[Porsche Monkey For Life]

On the long hot summer day of Mon, 19 Mar 2007 16:50:14 -0600, ~Roy~
dribbled:

> Carol Gulley is out and about showing her lilly white ass as usual, and I
> hate to see anyone get blinded by the light reflected off that huge moon
> she totes around. I bet she has to have a wide load permit to walk the
> streets of Mt. Juliet.

Carol might get a clue, eventually, but you're owned by her.

--
__________________________________________________ ______________________
Hail Eris! mhm 29x21
The original "Henry Schmidt"
COOSN-029-06-71069

Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog Whistle
Trainer of PorchMonkey4Life

AUK FAQ: http://www.caballista.org/auk/faq.html
The PM4L FAQ: http://www.screedbomb.info/porchie/

WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, February 2007
Message-ID: >

================================================
Brad Jesness Memorial Kook Appraisal Test (KAT or KAT Index) v. 5.1 by
Cipher and the a.u.k crew

So, you think you've got a contender, eh? Hard to separate the Kooks
from the mere pains in the ass though. Hopefully this will help you.

Instructions :
In this section give your Prospective Kook ONE point for every YES
answer. Give your Prospective Kook additional points for multiple
occurrences.

Grading scale follows questions.

Have they ever :

1. Been the first to go ad-hominem in a newsgroup debate.

2. Accused someone of breaking a non-existent Federal Law.

3. Called a properly formatted cancel of a BI>20 article a *forged
cancel*

4. Ranted about *Free Speech* when a moderator rejected their article.
Two points if it's spelled "FREE SPEACH".

5. Tried to censor others, yet scream when others suggest that they
killfile them or create a moderated newsgroup.

6. Complained to someone's ISP when they got spanked in a flame war.

7. Been complained about to their ISP deservedly.

8. Flamed someone from an anonymous account.

9. Made a spelling flame. (*)

10. Used RANT-CAPS & manic punctuation.

11. Claimed to be qualified to make a legal determination or medical
diagnosis with no justification - bonus points if the kook is obviously
projecting her/his *own* condition/behavior. (**)

12. Claimed an academic or professional degree they obviously do not
have.

13. Claimed that because of a degree or research topic, another poster
cannot know anything about any other subject.

In this section give your Prospective Kook TWO points for every YES
answer. Give your Prospective Kook additional points for multiple
occurrences.

1. Called someone a pedophile or drug pusher without proof.

2. Bonus if they called anyone a "Republican Nazi Pedophile"

3. Ranted about *Free Speech* when an anti-spammer canceled their
article.

4. Posted to a newsgroup via sock-puppet.

5. Thought about becoming a Freedom Knight.

6. Voted via sock-puppet in a Big Eight vote.

7. Defended a well known kook.

8. Been Nominated for a Kook award.

9. Invented Usenet 'rules' & 'laws', particularly coming up with
creative definitions for what constitutes spam & spamming.

10. Implied that she/he has powerful allies who will deal with his/her
enemies, due to having affiliations with Microsoft, the CIA or some
other powerful organization - no matter how flimsy the association.

11. Claimed an academic or professional degree after having stated they
are a high school dropout or otherwise indicated their actual level of
achievement, or claim multiple PhD's, MD's, etc.

12. 'Removed' an academic or professional degree or title from another
more clueful poster. (Includes scare quotes such as 'Esq.', or 'Dr.')

13. Claimed one of the well known regulars of AUK is using a remailer to
impersonate them, when all kook sign points to them.

In this section give your Prospective Kook THREE points for every YES
answer. Give your Prospective Kook additional points for multiple
occurrences.

1. Threatened to kill or cause bodily harm to another via mail or post.

2. Told someone they have caused the kook to harm himself.

3. Stalked/harassed an opponent off-line.

4. Mail-bombed anyone.

5. Spammed a newsgroup.

6. Posted a forged or altered newsgroup article.

7. Lost an account due to abuse.

8. Won a kook award.

9. Threatened a groundless lawsuit via mail or post. LA Law bonus:
Additional point if a TV lawyer is used.)

(Grubor bonus: If they claim John Grubor/Law Systems Institoot as
counsel)

10. Threatened to have their "agents" come after someone.

11. Had a FAQ posted about their kookiness.

12. Pretended to be a sysadmin or ISP owner.

13. CC'ed emailed complaints to irrelevant or non-existent organizations
email addresses, such as the DOJ, AG, CIA, FBI etc.

14. Been TOSsed and then claimed to have canceled it, her/it/himself?

(*) PalmJob Exception Rule. Cannot be applied to a mere troll's points.

(**) Brad Jesness Factor. Not applicable to BJ, it is expected.

Scale/Rank :
1 - 10 points : Kook Wannabe. Needs to read Grubor's posting history on
dejanews. Your Prospective Kook has much to learn. They may have just
screwed up once or twice.

11 - 25 points : Journeyman Kook. Needs to Continue to mimic the real
kooks. Your Prospective Kook could be a contender.

26 - 36 points : Kook First Class. Still a lesser light, but Your
Prospective Kook HAS arrived! People killfile him/her.

36 - 50 points : Kook cum Laude. Someone is considering writing a FAQ
about your Prospective Kook. Has been nominated for at least one a.u.k
award.

51 + points : Kook Magna cum Laude. Your Prospective Kook has a FAQ.
Your Prospective Kook will eventually win all the big awards. Your
Prospective Kook can leap tall newbies with a single bound.