Just wanted to say Hi...It's been a long while
 

My Job promotion and new baby has really occupied my time. But be rest
assured I have not ignored my pond. All Koi are fine and doing great. No
problems whatsoever (Probably just jinxed myself now)

My family and I are doing well too.

Has BV been behaving himself? How is the shareholder's pond doing?

Later all.

--
_______________________________________
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is
like an eggs-and-ham breakfast:
The chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

http://community.webshots.com/user/godwino

Good to hear from you, "Just Me Koi", its been pretty quiet in here this
winter. ~ jan

On Sun, 13 Feb 2005 04:14:22 GMT, "Just Me \"Koi\"" wrote:

My Job promotion and new baby has really occupied my time. But be rest
assured I have not ignored my pond. All Koi are fine and doing great. No
problems whatsoever (Probably just jinxed myself now)

My family and I are doing well too.

Has BV been behaving himself? How is the shareholder's pond doing?

Later all.

~Power to the Porg, Flow On!~

jan wrote
Good to hear from you, "Just Me Koi", its been pretty quiet in here
this
winter.


Very quiet, isn't it time for someone's pond
to turn green?

kathy

"kathy" wrote:

Very quiet, isn't it time for someone's pond
to turn green?

Mine might be, but I can't tell under the ice and snow.


Gary Woods AKA K2AHC- PGP key on request, or at home.earthlink.net/~garygarlic
Zone 5/6 in upstate New York, 1420' elevation. NY WO G

On 13 Feb 2005 08:22:55 -0800, "kathy" wrote:

jan wrote
Good to hear from you, "Just Me Koi", its been pretty quiet in here
this
winter.


Very quiet, isn't it time for someone's pond
to turn green?

kathy

Yeah, mine has already, plus last week it got a new load of silt
washed into it. It's quite ugly at the moment.

When spring rolls around I have to do some digging to change the
runoff water flow. Oh joy!


Mike Patterson
Please remove the spamtrap to email me.
"I always wanted to be somebody...I should have been more specific..." - Lily Tomlin

"kathy" wrote in message
oups.com...
jan wrote
Good to hear from you, "Just Me Koi", its been pretty quiet in here
this
winter.


Very quiet, isn't it time for someone's pond
to turn green?

kathy
========='
Mine just did, but I don't worry about it. :-)

Carol.... the frugal ponder...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mine is always green..:)

kathy wrote:

Very quiet, isn't it time for someone's pond
to turn green?

kathy

My pond went green about 2 weeks ago and the temp was up to 44 degrees
but I am back down now to 39 deg. due to a cold snap. I imagine that
will slow down the algae growth.

Don - southernbc

kathy wrote:
jan wrote
Good to hear from you, "Just Me Koi", its been pretty quiet in here
this
winter.


Very quiet, isn't it time for someone's pond
to turn green?

kathy

"Just Me "Koi"" wrote in message
news:yuAPd.26183$uc.11341@trnddc04...
My Job promotion and new baby has really occupied my time. But be rest
assured I have not ignored my pond. All Koi are fine and doing great. No
problems whatsoever (Probably just jinxed myself now)

My family and I are doing well too.

Has BV been behaving himself? How is the shareholder's pond doing?

Later all.

JMK!!!! Yahoo!!!!

I was beginning to think you fell in and could not get up.


--
BV
Webporgmaster of iheartmypond.com
http://www.iheartmypond.com
I'll be leaning on the bus stop post.

"kathy" wrote in message
oups.com...
jan wrote
Good to hear from you, "Just Me Koi", its been pretty quiet in here
this
winter.


Very quiet, isn't it time for someone's pond
to turn green?

Mine is not green, but I have an oak tree leaf bloom that is out of control.


--
BV
Webporgmaster of iheartmypond.com
http://www.iheartmypond.com
I'll be leaning on the bus stop post.

Hey BV,
Thanks for the warm welcome back. I was beginning to feel that no one
remembered me, especially when my thread suddenly went off and became about
green water.
Take care.

--
_______________________________________
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is
like an eggs-and-ham breakfast:
The chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

http://community.webshots.com/user/godwino

"Benign Vanilla" wrote in message
...

"Just Me "Koi"" wrote in message
news:yuAPd.26183$uc.11341@trnddc04...
My Job promotion and new baby has really occupied my time. But be rest
assured I have not ignored my pond. All Koi are fine and doing great.
No
problems whatsoever (Probably just jinxed myself now)

My family and I are doing well too.

Has BV been behaving himself? How is the shareholder's pond doing?

Later all.

JMK!!!! Yahoo!!!!

I was beginning to think you fell in and could not get up.


--
BV
Webporgmaster of iheartmypond.com
http://www.iheartmypond.com
I'll be leaning on the bus stop post.

Sorry, Just Me, that was me, when someone
mentioned it had been quiet, I got nostalgic
for green water questions. All ponders seem
to get a little strange in winter...
How is the new baby, or since the baby has
been around a while, how are *you* doing, babies
I think do just fine, it's the parents that get all
the wear and tear ;-)

kathy

Thanks. Baby is fine, Mother is fine, Sisters are fine. Daddy is a
different subject. A house full of girls! 3 Daughters. and 1 wife.

Take care.

--
_______________________________________
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is
like an eggs-and-ham breakfast:
The chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

http://community.webshots.com/user/godwino

"kathy" wrote in message
oups.com...
Sorry, Just Me, that was me, when someone
mentioned it had been quiet, I got nostalgic
for green water questions. All ponders seem
to get a little strange in winter...
How is the new baby, or since the baby has
been around a while, how are *you* doing, babies
I think do just fine, it's the parents that get all
the wear and tear ;-)

kathy

Just Me wrote a house full of girls!

Mine brother-in-law's fourth daughter is getting
married this summer... he can relate ;-)
He's a sweetheart, put in a 10,000 gallon pond
for his wife.

kathy

"Just Me "Koi"" wrote in message
news:HncRd.219$EL5.54@trnddc05...
Thanks. Baby is fine, Mother is fine, Sisters are fine. Daddy is a
different subject. A house full of girls! 3 Daughters. and 1 wife.
snip

My father in law survived a wife and four daughters. He's mostly normal now.
I figure JMK can't fry his pond water soaked brain any worse then that.


--
BV
Webporgmaster of iheartmypond.com
http://www.iheartmypond.com
I'll be leaning on the bus stop post.

That's all I can hope for. I go out and play with my fish so that I don't
have to think about the boys my daughters will bring home some day.

--
_______________________________________
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is
like an eggs-and-ham breakfast:
The chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

http://community.webshots.com/user/godwino

"Benign Vanilla" wrote in message
...

"Just Me "Koi"" wrote in message
news:HncRd.219$EL5.54@trnddc05...
Thanks. Baby is fine, Mother is fine, Sisters are fine. Daddy is a
different subject. A house full of girls! 3 Daughters. and 1 wife.
snip

My father in law survived a wife and four daughters. He's mostly normal
now.
I figure JMK can't fry his pond water soaked brain any worse then that.


--
BV
Webporgmaster of iheartmypond.com
http://www.iheartmypond.com
I'll be leaning on the bus stop post.

kathy wrote:
jan wrote
Good to hear from you, "Just Me Koi", its been pretty quiet in here
this
winter.


Very quiet, isn't it time for someone's pond
to turn green?

kathy

I have green! :-( :-( For most of the winter here in Colorado Springs,
my pond and been crystal clear. :-) :-) Then sometimes last week, early
last week I think, I noticed I could not see the fish as clearly. Upon
a close inspection, sure enough, the water has a greenish hue to it and
is has gotten progressively greener as the week has progress. I guess
it is because all the ice has melted. Water is still very cold, 42F but
not so cold that the algae will not grow. :-( I guess I will have to
just wait it out for now.
W. Dale

Just Me "Koi" wrote:

That's all I can hope for. I go out and play with my fish so that I don't
have to think about the boys my daughters will bring home some day.

ROTFLOL... Yep. I am sure they will. And every day, I see some of the
boys they will be bringing home ... *sigh*. Just be sure to introduce
the boys to the girls two uncles; Uncle Smith and Uncle Wesson. You
might also introduce them to the older cousin, "I know how to use 'em".
:-) ;-)

On Sun, 20 Feb 2005 08:00:17 -0700, news groups wrote:

I have green! :-( :-( For most of the winter here in Colorado Springs,
my pond and been crystal clear. :-) :-) Then sometimes last week, early
last week I think, I noticed I could not see the fish as clearly. Upon
a close inspection, sure enough, the water has a greenish hue to it and
is has gotten progressively greener as the week has progress. I guess
it is because all the ice has melted. Water is still very cold, 42F but
not so cold that the algae will not grow. :-( I guess I will have to
just wait it out for now.
W. Dale

To be on the safe side, check your water parameters, if all fine, do a
20-25% water change on nice days. If you haven't been doing them all
winter, do them every 5th day if the weather is good. You probably have a
lot of nutrients in there from the fish. The fresh water will dilute it,
but don't do more than 25% (preferably 20%) or you'll upset the balance.
~ jan


See my ponds and filter design:
http://users.owt.com/jjspond/

~Keep 'em Wet!~
Tri-Cities WA Zone 7a
To e-mail see website

~ jan JJsPond.us wrote:
On Sun, 20 Feb 2005 08:00:17 -0700, news groups wrote:


I have green! :-( :-( For most of the winter here in Colorado Springs,
my pond and been crystal clear. :-) :-) Then sometimes last week, early
last week I think, I noticed I could not see the fish as clearly. Upon
a close inspection, sure enough, the water has a greenish hue to it and
is has gotten progressively greener as the week has progress. I guess
it is because all the ice has melted. Water is still very cold, 42F but
not so cold that the algae will not grow. :-( I guess I will have to
just wait it out for now.
W. Dale


To be on the safe side, check your water parameters, if all fine, do a
20-25% water change on nice days. If you haven't been doing them all
winter, do them every 5th day if the weather is good. You probably have a
lot of nutrients in there from the fish. The fresh water will dilute it,
but don't do more than 25% (preferably 20%) or you'll upset the balance.
~ jan


See my ponds and filter design:
http://users.owt.com/jjspond/

~Keep 'em Wet!~
Tri-Cities WA Zone 7a
To e-mail see website
AH... good idea! This is the first time, Jan, I have not had ice on the
pond and when it was there, it was usually 2-5 inches thick. So, I have
not done any water changes at all this winter! That is probably a good
idea. Today looks like a nice day. Mid 40's maybe. I will need to rig
up one of the pumps, return it to the pond to get started. Thanks for
the tip!
Have a happy Monday!
W. Dale

"Benign Vanilla" wrote in message
...

"Just Me "Koi"" wrote in message
news:HncRd.219$EL5.54@trnddc05...
Thanks. Baby is fine, Mother is fine, Sisters are fine. Daddy is a
different subject. A house full of girls! 3 Daughters. and 1 wife.
snip

My father in law survived a wife and four daughters. He's mostly normal
now.
I figure JMK can't fry his pond water soaked brain any worse then that.

My Dad survived 4 daughters, a female cousin living with us to help out, my
Mom and a female dog. He wished daughters on me but I had two sons.... I
think that was the more appropriate revenge given I was the lone female in
the house. Still I'm told there is nothing quite like teenage females for
driving you to the edge.

Words women Use - (p.s. I'm a flaming liberal feminist - how many feminist
does it take to change a light bulb "THAT'S NOT FUNNY"! - kind of
feminist.... still this seems to fit the moment and it makes me chuckle).

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you
need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five
minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before
helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be
on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over
"Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man.
"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding
how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're
welcome.
You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender.

For example:

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you
can see right through them.

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to
warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right
buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to
light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years,
but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But
consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while
he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying

"jedi" wrote in message
...
snip
Words women Use - (p.s. I'm a flaming liberal feminist - how many feminist
does it take to change a light bulb "THAT'S NOT FUNNY"! - kind of
feminist.... still this seems to fit the moment and it makes me chuckle).
snip

Just one..."Honey...will you change this lightbulb?"

:)


--
BV
Webporgmaster of iheartmypond.com
http://www.iheartmypond.com
I'll be leaning on the bus stop post.

"Benign Vanilla" wrote in message
...

"jedi" wrote in message
...
snip
Words women Use - (p.s. I'm a flaming liberal feminist - how many
feminist
does it take to change a light bulb "THAT'S NOT FUNNY"! - kind of
feminist.... still this seems to fit the moment and it makes me
chuckle).
snip

Just one..."Honey...will you change this lightbulb?"

:)

That is what my husband says to me every time one goes out..... Of course
he thinks that since power tools, digging ponds, etc. is my domain while he
does the shopping, bill paying etc. that light bulbs are closer to my
territory....

:)

--
BV
Webporgmaster of iheartmypond.com
http://www.iheartmypond.com
I'll be leaning on the bus stop post.

Way too funny! Thanks for sharing. The "sigh" part kinda bothers me
though, because my wife uses it a lot, does that mean I am a flaming idiot
or just your regular run of the mill idiot?

--
_______________________________________
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is
like an eggs-and-ham breakfast:
The chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

http://community.webshots.com/user/godwino

"jedi" wrote in message
...

"Benign Vanilla" wrote in message
...

"Just Me "Koi"" wrote in message
news:HncRd.219$EL5.54@trnddc05...
Thanks. Baby is fine, Mother is fine, Sisters are fine. Daddy is a
different subject. A house full of girls! 3 Daughters. and 1 wife.
snip

My father in law survived a wife and four daughters. He's mostly normal
now.
I figure JMK can't fry his pond water soaked brain any worse then that.

My Dad survived 4 daughters, a female cousin living with us to help out,
my
Mom and a female dog. He wished daughters on me but I had two sons.... I
think that was the more appropriate revenge given I was the lone female in
the house. Still I'm told there is nothing quite like teenage females for
driving you to the edge.

Words women Use - (p.s. I'm a flaming liberal feminist - how many feminist
does it take to change a light bulb "THAT'S NOT FUNNY"! - kind of
feminist.... still this seems to fit the moment and it makes me chuckle).

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you
need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five
minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game
before
helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should
be
on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
over
"Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a
man.
"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding
how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're
welcome.
You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender.

For example:

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you
can see right through them.

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while
to
warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right
buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to
light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the
bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000
years,
but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But
consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and
while
he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying

You are a feminist indeed.

--
_______________________________________
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is
like an eggs-and-ham breakfast:
The chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

http://community.webshots.com/user/godwino

"jedi" wrote in message
...

"Benign Vanilla" wrote in message
...

"jedi" wrote in message
...
snip
Words women Use - (p.s. I'm a flaming liberal feminist - how many
feminist
does it take to change a light bulb "THAT'S NOT FUNNY"! - kind of
feminist.... still this seems to fit the moment and it makes me
chuckle).
snip

Just one..."Honey...will you change this lightbulb?"

:)

That is what my husband says to me every time one goes out..... Of course
he thinks that since power tools, digging ponds, etc. is my domain while
he
does the shopping, bill paying etc. that light bulbs are closer to my
territory....

:)

--
BV
Webporgmaster of iheartmypond.com
http://www.iheartmypond.com
I'll be leaning on the bus stop post.

Say JMK, is the water getting ddep in your neighborhood. From the looks of
the reports on the news, your pond should have had at least a major water
change. Hope the fish stay home. :)
"Just Me "Koi"" wrote in message
news:eDQSd.7920$QQ3.3563@trnddc02...
You are a feminist indeed.

--
_______________________________________
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is
like an eggs-and-ham breakfast:
The chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

http://community.webshots.com/user/godwino

"jedi" wrote in message
...

"Benign Vanilla" wrote in message
...

"jedi" wrote in message
...
snip
Words women Use - (p.s. I'm a flaming liberal feminist - how many
feminist
does it take to change a light bulb "THAT'S NOT FUNNY"! - kind of
feminist.... still this seems to fit the moment and it makes me
chuckle).
snip

Just one..."Honey...will you change this lightbulb?"

:)

That is what my husband says to me every time one goes out..... Of
course
he thinks that since power tools, digging ponds, etc. is my domain while
he
does the shopping, bill paying etc. that light bulbs are closer to my
territory....

:)

--
BV
Webporgmaster of iheartmypond.com
http://www.iheartmypond.com
I'll be leaning on the bus stop post.

It's been so much rain it's unthinkable.

Fish are fine, rain for the pond is a blessing as it's so much rain that I
don't have to worry about acid rain, and it's so much that I have been
getting clean water doing my partial changes for me automatically,
especially with so much leaves and flowers from fall and springs.

It's all good.

--
_______________________________________
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is
like an eggs-and-ham breakfast:
The chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

http://community.webshots.com/user/godwino

"RichToyBox" wrote in message
...
Say JMK, is the water getting ddep in your neighborhood. From the looks
of
the reports on the news, your pond should have had at least a major water
change. Hope the fish stay home. :)
"Just Me "Koi"" wrote in message
news:eDQSd.7920$QQ3.3563@trnddc02...
You are a feminist indeed.

--
_______________________________________
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is
like an eggs-and-ham breakfast:
The chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

http://community.webshots.com/user/godwino

"jedi" wrote in message
...

"Benign Vanilla" wrote in
message
...

"jedi" wrote in message
...
snip
Words women Use - (p.s. I'm a flaming liberal feminist - how many
feminist
does it take to change a light bulb "THAT'S NOT FUNNY"! - kind of
feminist.... still this seems to fit the moment and it makes me
chuckle).
snip

Just one..."Honey...will you change this lightbulb?"

:)

That is what my husband says to me every time one goes out..... Of
course
he thinks that since power tools, digging ponds, etc. is my domain
while
he
does the shopping, bill paying etc. that light bulbs are closer to my
territory....

:)

--
BV
Webporgmaster of iheartmypond.com
http://www.iheartmypond.com
I'll be leaning on the bus stop post.

"Just Me "Koi"" wrote in message
news:OuQSd.7919$QQ3.3786@trnddc02...
Way too funny! Thanks for sharing. The "sigh" part kinda bothers me
though, because my wife uses it a lot, does that mean I am a flaming idiot
or just your regular run of the mill idiot?
snip

I for one think you are a top notch idiot. And don't let anyone tell you
diff'rnt. :)


--
BV
Webporgmaster of iheartmypond.com
http://www.iheartmypond.com
I'll be leaning on the bus stop post.

:-)
Top Notch Idiot and proud of it!

--
_______________________________________
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is
like an eggs-and-ham breakfast:
The chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

http://community.webshots.com/user/godwino

"Benign Vanilla" wrote in message
...

"Just Me "Koi"" wrote in message
news:OuQSd.7919$QQ3.3786@trnddc02...
Way too funny! Thanks for sharing. The "sigh" part kinda bothers me
though, because my wife uses it a lot, does that mean I am a flaming
idiot
or just your regular run of the mill idiot?
snip

I for one think you are a top notch idiot. And don't let anyone tell you
diff'rnt. :)


--
BV
Webporgmaster of iheartmypond.com
http://www.iheartmypond.com
I'll be leaning on the bus stop post.

"Just Me "Koi"" wrote in message
news:OuQSd.7919$QQ3.3786@trnddc02...
Way too funny! Thanks for sharing. The "sigh" part kinda bothers me
though, because my wife uses it a lot, does that mean I am a flaming idiot
or just your regular run of the mill idiot?

Just remember that it is done with love! :).... Recently saw Avenue Q and
the funniest part of the whole show was the song with the following verse -

The more you love someone, The more he make you crazy. The more you love
someone, The more you wishing him dead! .(sung by actress playing to have an
asian accent).

Husband and I looked at each other and grinned... nothing else had to be
said.

I think the same can be applied to our ponds at times.....


"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is
like an eggs-and-ham breakfast:
The chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

http://community.webshots.com/user/godwino

"jedi" wrote in message
...

"Benign Vanilla" wrote in message
...

"Just Me "Koi"" wrote in message
news:HncRd.219$EL5.54@trnddc05...
Thanks. Baby is fine, Mother is fine, Sisters are fine. Daddy is a
different subject. A house full of girls! 3 Daughters. and 1 wife.
snip

My father in law survived a wife and four daughters. He's mostly
normal
now.
I figure JMK can't fry his pond water soaked brain any worse then
that.

My Dad survived 4 daughters, a female cousin living with us to help out,
my
Mom and a female dog. He wished daughters on me but I had two sons....
I
think that was the more appropriate revenge given I was the lone female
in
the house. Still I'm told there is nothing quite like teenage females
for
driving you to the edge.

Words women Use - (p.s. I'm a flaming liberal feminist - how many
feminist
does it take to change a light bulb "THAT'S NOT FUNNY"! - kind of
feminist.... still this seems to fit the moment and it makes me
chuckle).

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you
need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only
five
minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game
before
helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you
should
be
on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot
and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
over
"Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a
man.
"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
deciding
how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're
welcome.
You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender.

For example:

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but
you
can see right through them.

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while
to
warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right
buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have
to
light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the
bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000
years,
but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But
consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and
while
he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying