OT- North vs Sousth

saw this on another group....

North VS South

If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving
to
the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you
adapt
to the difference in lifestyles:

The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses.

The North has dating services, The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee Press-on Nails.

The North has double last names, The South has double first names.

The North has Ted Kennedy, The South has Jesse Helms.

The North has Indy car races, The South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.

The North has green salads, The South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads.

The North has the rust belt, The South has the Bible Belt.

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men
in a
four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
Don't
try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live
for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same
store....do
not buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's
is
plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't
understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a
transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective big'ol," truck or
"big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect
this
way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this,"
you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words
he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest
accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery
store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have
to
go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns,
they
are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn
is
to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.


AND REMEMBER:

If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will
accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the
oven,
we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

Have a good day! Send this to four people that ain't related to you,
and
reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it!





--
http://www.kencofish.com Ken Arnold,
401-781-9642 cell 401-225-0556
Importer/Exporter of Goldfish,Koi,rare Predators
Shipping to legal states/countries only!
Permalon liners, Oase & Supreme Pondmaster pumps


Linux (SuSE 8.2) user #329121
Please Note: No trees or animals were harmed in the
sending of this contaminant free message We do concede
that a signicant number of electrons may have been
inconvenienced

rofl sending this to my son in law in lousinana

KenCo wrote:
saw this on another group....

North VS South

If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving
to
the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you
adapt
to the difference in lifestyles:

The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses.

The North has dating services, The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee Press-on Nails.

The North has double last names, The South has double first names.

The North has Ted Kennedy, The South has Jesse Helms.

The North has Indy car races, The South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.

The North has green salads, The South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads.

The North has the rust belt, The South has the Bible Belt.

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men
in a
four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
Don't
try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live
for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same
store....do
not buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's
is
plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't
understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a
transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective big'ol," truck or
"big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect
this
way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this,"
you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words
he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest
accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery
store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have
to
go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns,
they
are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn
is
to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.


AND REMEMBER:

If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will
accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the
oven,
we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

Have a good day! Send this to four people that ain't related to you,
and
reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it!





--
http://www.kencofish.com Ken Arnold,
401-781-9642 cell 401-225-0556
Importer/Exporter of Goldfish,Koi,rare Predators
Shipping to legal states/countries only!
Permalon liners, Oase & Supreme Pondmaster pumps


Linux (SuSE 8.2) user #329121
Please Note: No trees or animals were harmed in the
sending of this contaminant free message We do concede
that a signicant number of electrons may have been
inconvenienced

Right on!!

Y'all ain't ben to Californee'a 'ave ya's..


"GrannyGrump" wrote in message
...
Right on!!

T wrote:
Y'all ain't ben to Californee'a 'ave ya's..

..my son in law is from there but its ok we took him to the vet
before the wedding ;-0

I live in California, but not for long... Great White North I am coming home
soon.. Now I need help to place my fish.. PLEASE Help me..

Timmer..


"john rutz" wrote in message
...


T wrote:
Y'all ain't ben to Californee'a 'ave ya's..

.my son in law is from there but its ok we took him to the vet
before the wedding ;-0

Ya'll varmints kin seez watt ya'll's wantsta, I'll be thinkin about ya'll'z
win I be a sittin' by the pond en ma shirt sleeves this here comin' January.
Them there pond raised crawpaws is tasty too.

"KenCo" wrote in message
...

(Translated for clarity)

sar this hyar on t'other group....

No'th VS South Eff'n yer fum th' no'thern states an' plannin' on visitin' o'
movin' to th' South, thar is a few thin's yo' sh'd knows thet will he'p yo'
adapp to th' difference in lifestyles:

Th' No'th has a six pack houses, Th' South has Waffle Houses.

Th' No'th has datin' services, Th' South has fambly reunions.

Th' No'th has switchblade knives, Th' South has Lee Press-on Nails.

Th' No'th has double last names, Th' South has double fust names.

Th' No'th has Ted Kennedy, Th' South has Jesse Helms.

Th' No'th has Indy car races, Th' South has stock car races. (Go Beeel)

Th' No'th has Cream of Wheat, Th' South has grits.

Th' No'th has green salads, Th' South has collard greens.

Th' No'th has lobsters, Th' South has crawPaws.

Th' No'th has th' rest belt, Th' South has th' Bible Belt.

In th' South: --Eff'n yo' helter-skelter yer car into a ditch, doesn't
panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck wif a tow chain will be
along sho'tly. Don't try t'he'p them, jest stay outta their way. This hyar
is whut they live fo'.

Don't be surprised t'find movie rentals an' bait in th' same sto'e....do not
buy grub at this hyar sto'e.

Remember, "y'all" is sin'ular, "all y'all" is plural, an' "all y'all's is
plural postessive. Git used t'hearin' "Yo' ain't fum roun' hyar, is ya?"
Don't be wo'ried at not unnerstan'in' whut varmints is sayin'. They kin't
unnerstan' yo' eifer.

Th' fust Southern statement t'creep into a transplanted No'therner's
vocabulary is th' adjeckive trimenjus'ol," truck o' "trimenjus'ol" fella.
Most No'therners begin their Southern-influenced dialeck this way. All of
them is in denial about it.

Th' right pronunciashun yo' larned in skoo is no longer right. Be advised
thet "He needed killin" is a valid defense hyar.

Eff'n yo' hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," yo' sh'd stay
outta th' way. These is likely t'be th' last wo'ds he'll evah say.

Eff'n thar is th' predickshun of th' slightess chance of even th' smallest
accumulashun of snow, yer presence is required at th' local grocery sto'e.
It don't matter whether yo' need ennythin' o' not. Yo' jest have to go thar.

Do not be surprised t'find thet 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they
are proficient marksmen, an' their mammas taught them how t'aim, dawgone it.

In th' South, we haf foun' thet th' bess way t'grow a lush green lawn is to
pour gravel on it an' call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: Eff'n yo' does settle in th' South an' bar chillun, doesn't
reckon we will accepp them as Southerners. Af'er all, eff'n th' cat had
kittens in the oven, we'dn't call 'em biscuits.

Have a fine day! Fry mah hide! Send this hyar to four varmints thet ain't
related t'yo', an' reckon yer life will turn into a country moosic song
'fo'e yo' knows it! Fry mah hide!

-- http://www.kencofish.com Ken Ole Jeb, 401-781-9642 cell 401-225-0556
Impo'ter/Expo'ter of Goldfish,Koi,rare Predato's Shippin' t'legal
states/countries only! Fry mah hide! Permalon liners, Oase & Supreme
Pondmaster pumps Linux (SuSE 8.2) user #329121 Please Note: No trees o'
animals were harmed in th' sendin' of this hyar contaminant free message We
does concede thet a signicant number of eleckrons may haf been
inconvenienced

Now that is truly the deep south!