Koi Flatulence Captured in Photo (Parody)

Koi Flatulence Captured in Photo

Jeff Daro, reporter rec. Ponders Gazette

July. 17, 2004 — For the first time, rec. ponders have both witnessed
and photographed a Koi gas bubble, suggesting that flatulence is just as
common for pond inhabitants as it is for humans and many other
terrestrial animals.

The picture is best described by Ka30P, principal research analysist in
the Applied Algae Primer Group of the rec. ponders newsgroup. Ka30P was
leading an expedition of BV’s Shareholders Pond, when the ponds owner,
me, took the photo.

"The picture is of an Antarctic kohaku koi taken from the veggie filter
of the pond," Ka30P explained. "The white bits in the photo are pieces
of Styrofoam bear cup, left over form the last Lutus planting session,
the stream of pinky color behind the Koi is a fecal plume — a.k.a. "poo
poo " — the large circle in the water is indeed the physical eruption of
the Koi's flatulence."

See Photo http://ourkoipond.com/a_koi%20FART.htm

"The general rule that flatulence is worse than halitosis is certainly
also true for koi," said Ka30P, who had to flee the area shortly after
the Koi's natural release was observed, and smelled.
Ka30P and her colleagues are working to determine what it is that the
Koi may have eaten, and where they got it from. Instead of resorting to
killing the Koi, the team has developed a method that allows them to
collect Koi feces and study its DNA to figure out what the Koi recently
consumed.

Although a late night “Pringles” binge is suspected!
The DNA work is linked to Koi protection, since countries such as
Norway, Iceland, and Japan have argued that Koi numbers should be
reduced to stabilize Koi market prices and help preserve pure bloodlines.

"Sadly, some countries are promoting very simple interpretations of the
way whale food consumption interacts with fishery yields, effectively
arguing that if the whales did not eat those fish, then fishery yields
would improve," Gales told Discovery News. "In reality, marine food webs
are extremely complex and the relationship between what one of many
predators eat, in this case whales, and a fishery yield is distant and
may not even be direct."

He explained that whales also consume predators of many commercial
species, and that other issues, including when and where whales eat, and
what age class of a commercial species is affected by whales, complicate
the debate.
Ingrid, a well know professor of “Koiology”, agrees that Koi numbers
should not be further reduced by humans, since their sole predators,
Herons, of many types areon the increase.
"The available data for Koi suggests that their populations are well
above the carrying capacity of their environment (1000 gals. For the 1st
Koi and 100 gals.for each additional Koi), thus there is great danger of
them, increasing their Bio-Load overloading their Bio-ecoSystem," said
Ingrid.

Ihgrid added, "The fate of Koi is intimately associated with its Water
Chemistry. ( Kh, GH, pH , NitrAte, NitrIte, Ammonia and Oxygen levels."
She explained that Kois' major food source, floating Koi pellets, is
being applied to the koi ponds at an alarming rate, spurred by the
belief that every time a Koi surfaces and opens its mouth it is saying
“FEED ME, FEED ME, FEED ME ,which could cause problems for Koi and many
other Pond residents. .

Ka30P, Ingrid, and several other rec. ponders next month will study and
evaluate the effectiveness, and feasability of the “Skippy” filter and
its effect on the overall ecosystem of the UK and Lostin1999’s pond.
Ok Everybody meet the 2nd Tuesday of August at Lostin1999’s flat
@00:00:00 GMT

Ps. Anyone know where I can get cheep tickets for the Concord? ;-)