Guys, I *have* to run a front plate...

I'm ****ed at GM right now... not homicidally ****ed, mind you, just a
little more so than the usual low level annoyance at their craptastic
products. However, this is an example of why people continue to think
that their products are cheap junk.

My company car is a current body Impala, it's OK for what it is.
However, it's not a high end car, so while I like to keep it looking
nice, it gets hand washed exactly once a year, immediately before its
annual waxing. Any other time that it starts looking a little dirty, it
gets run through an automatic car wash.

Why does this **** me off at GM? Because the front license plate
bracket is an embarrassing piece of ****. It's this molded plastic
contraption that screws to the plastic front bumper fascia with two
pathetic little screws, flops around loosely, and worse yet, is
constructed so that it is impossible to put a proper license plate frame
on your front plate, so that you're always running the risk of having
the front plate bent into a pretzel by the car wash rollers. (three
guesses why I'm posting this rant today; first two don't count.) In
fact, the whole thing is so tenuous, I'm wondering if I shouldn't try to
figure out a way to attach it to the lower grille as well as the current
two screws into thin plastic so the whole thing doesn't get ripped off
in the car wash, because now that I've taken it off and looked at it,
I'm really surprised that it hasn't come off already.

Come on, GM. I know that front license plates look like ****. However,
my state requires them, so to be a good law-abiding citizen I have to
use them. Please at least recognize this fact and don't hand off the
design of the front plate brackets to one of your junior engineer's
children.

For an example of how a proper license plate bracket should be
constructed, I recommend to you any number of plate brackets available
on the aftermarket or as supplied by any number of other manufacturers.
Typically constructed of metal, those brackets often have rolled edges
to securely hold the flimsy aluminum plates and prevent damage. Often
they also have provisions for the plate to be retained by all four
screws, and do not impede the mounting of a license plate frame if
desired for extra protection or appearance reasons.

I also found that annoying squeak that happens when I slam the trunk lid
while adding a license plate frame on the rear plate; the rear bumper
fascia (to which the rear license plate is "securely" held by two screws
into plastic - I "fixed" that by adding two more holes of my own,
although I have to say I still would prefer something like riv-nuts into
metal, I realize that that would be way too expensive for you to meet
your price point) is loose and vibrates against the actual metal of the
bumper assembly, and there is no way to tighten the weird little
push-clip fasteners that you used to attach it, so I'll be listening to
that squeak until I finally get rid of this car, or in desperation
finally remove the fascia and replace all those wacky fasteners with
speed clips and sheetmetal screws.

thank you for your consideration.

Nate

Nate Nagel wrote:
> I'm ****ed at GM right now... not homicidally ****ed, mind you, just a
> little more so than the usual low level annoyance at their craptastic
> products. However, this is an example of why people continue to think
> that their products are cheap junk.
>
> My company car is a current body Impala, it's OK for what it is.
> However, it's not a high end car, so while I like to keep it looking
> nice, it gets hand washed exactly once a year, immediately before its
> annual waxing. Any other time that it starts looking a little dirty, it
> gets run through an automatic car wash.
>
> Why does this **** me off at GM? Because the front license plate
> bracket is an embarrassing piece of ****. It's this molded plastic
> contraption that screws to the plastic front bumper fascia with two
> pathetic little screws, flops around loosely, and worse yet, is
> constructed so that it is impossible to put a proper license plate frame
> on your front plate, so that you're always running the risk of having
> the front plate bent into a pretzel by the car wash rollers. (three
> guesses why I'm posting this rant today; first two don't count.) In
> fact, the whole thing is so tenuous, I'm wondering if I shouldn't try to
> figure out a way to attach it to the lower grille as well as the current
> two screws into thin plastic so the whole thing doesn't get ripped off
> in the car wash, because now that I've taken it off and looked at it,
> I'm really surprised that it hasn't come off already.
>
> Come on, GM. I know that front license plates look like ****. However,
> my state requires them, so to be a good law-abiding citizen I have to
> use them. Please at least recognize this fact and don't hand off the
> design of the front plate brackets to one of your junior engineer's
> children.

NY almost dropped the front plate 2 years ago. The police union objected
saying it made it more difficult to identify the vehicle.

>
> For an example of how a proper license plate bracket should be
> constructed, I recommend to you any number of plate brackets available
> on the aftermarket or as supplied by any number of other manufacturers.
> Typically constructed of metal, those brackets often have rolled edges
> to securely hold the flimsy aluminum plates and prevent damage. Often
> they also have provisions for the plate to be retained by all four
> screws, and do not impede the mounting of a license plate frame if
> desired for extra protection or appearance reasons.

I have a custom plate bracket on the front of my vehicle because I run
two front plates. The NY and one for the VFD.

>
> I also found that annoying squeak that happens when I slam the trunk lid
> while adding a license plate frame on the rear plate; the rear bumper
> fascia (to which the rear license plate is "securely" held by two screws
> into plastic - I "fixed" that by adding two more holes of my own,
> although I have to say I still would prefer something like riv-nuts into
> metal, I realize that that would be way too expensive for you to meet
> your price point) is loose and vibrates against the actual metal of the
> bumper assembly, and there is no way to tighten the weird little
> push-clip fasteners that you used to attach it, so I'll be listening to
> that squeak until I finally get rid of this car, or in desperation
> finally remove the fascia and replace all those wacky fasteners with
> speed clips and sheetmetal screws.

Easy fix. Use a pull rod to create a small space and shoot some clear
silicone caulk in there. It will stop the motion and the squeak.

>
> thank you for your consideration.
>
> Nate


--
Steve W.

On Sat, 20 Feb 2010 17:09:04 -0500, Nate Nagel wrote:

> I'm ****ed at GM right now... not homicidally ****ed, mind you, just a
> little more so than the usual low level annoyance at their craptastic
> products. However, this is an example of why people continue to think
> that their products are cheap junk.
>
> My company car is a current body Impala, it's OK for what it is.
> However, it's not a high end car, so while I like to keep it looking
> nice, it gets hand washed exactly once a year, immediately before its
> annual waxing. Any other time that it starts looking a little dirty, it
> gets run through an automatic car wash.
>
> Why does this **** me off at GM? Because the front license plate
> bracket is an embarrassing piece of ****. It's this molded plastic
> contraption that screws to the plastic front bumper fascia with two
> pathetic little screws, flops around loosely, and worse yet, is
> constructed so that it is impossible to put a proper license plate frame
> on your front plate, so that you're always running the risk of having
> the front plate bent into a pretzel by the car wash rollers. (three
> guesses why I'm posting this rant today; first two don't count.) In
> fact, the whole thing is so tenuous, I'm wondering if I shouldn't try to
> figure out a way to attach it to the lower grille as well as the current
> two screws into thin plastic so the whole thing doesn't get ripped off
> in the car wash, because now that I've taken it off and looked at it,
> I'm really surprised that it hasn't come off already.
>
> Come on, GM. I know that front license plates look like ****. However,
> my state requires them, so to be a good law-abiding citizen I have to
> use them. Please at least recognize this fact and don't hand off the
> design of the front plate brackets to one of your junior engineer's
> children.
>
> For an example of how a proper license plate bracket should be
> constructed, I recommend to you any number of plate brackets available
> on the aftermarket or as supplied by any number of other manufacturers.
> Typically constructed of metal, those brackets often have rolled edges
> to securely hold the flimsy aluminum plates and prevent damage. Often
> they also have provisions for the plate to be retained by all four
> screws, and do not impede the mounting of a license plate frame if
> desired for extra protection or appearance reasons.
>
> I also found that annoying squeak that happens when I slam the trunk lid
> while adding a license plate frame on the rear plate; the rear bumper
> fascia (to which the rear license plate is "securely" held by two screws
> into plastic - I "fixed" that by adding two more holes of my own,
> although I have to say I still would prefer something like riv-nuts into
> metal, I realize that that would be way too expensive for you to meet
> your price point) is loose and vibrates against the actual metal of the
> bumper assembly, and there is no way to tighten the weird little
> push-clip fasteners that you used to attach it, so I'll be listening to
> that squeak until I finally get rid of this car, or in desperation
> finally remove the fascia and replace all those wacky fasteners with
> speed clips and sheetmetal screws.
>
> thank you for your consideration.

I was told by an Oregon cop that they use the front plate law as an
excuse to pull someone over when they're suspicious but don't have cause
-- i.e. it's one of the many ways that you can get pulled over for
Driving While Hispanic, but if you're not otherwise generating suspicion
or aren't a member of The Wrong Group they'll let it by. And if you
_are_ a member of The Wrong Group they'll find some other reason.

--
www.wescottdesign.com

On 02/21/2010 01:39 AM, Tim Wescott wrote:
> On Sat, 20 Feb 2010 17:09:04 -0500, Nate Nagel wrote:
>
>> I'm ****ed at GM right now... not homicidally ****ed, mind you, just a
>> little more so than the usual low level annoyance at their craptastic
>> products. However, this is an example of why people continue to think
>> that their products are cheap junk.
>>
>> My company car is a current body Impala, it's OK for what it is.
>> However, it's not a high end car, so while I like to keep it looking
>> nice, it gets hand washed exactly once a year, immediately before its
>> annual waxing. Any other time that it starts looking a little dirty, it
>> gets run through an automatic car wash.
>>
>> Why does this **** me off at GM? Because the front license plate
>> bracket is an embarrassing piece of ****. It's this molded plastic
>> contraption that screws to the plastic front bumper fascia with two
>> pathetic little screws, flops around loosely, and worse yet, is
>> constructed so that it is impossible to put a proper license plate frame
>> on your front plate, so that you're always running the risk of having
>> the front plate bent into a pretzel by the car wash rollers. (three
>> guesses why I'm posting this rant today; first two don't count.) In
>> fact, the whole thing is so tenuous, I'm wondering if I shouldn't try to
>> figure out a way to attach it to the lower grille as well as the current
>> two screws into thin plastic so the whole thing doesn't get ripped off
>> in the car wash, because now that I've taken it off and looked at it,
>> I'm really surprised that it hasn't come off already.
>>
>> Come on, GM. I know that front license plates look like ****. However,
>> my state requires them, so to be a good law-abiding citizen I have to
>> use them. Please at least recognize this fact and don't hand off the
>> design of the front plate brackets to one of your junior engineer's
>> children.
>>
>> For an example of how a proper license plate bracket should be
>> constructed, I recommend to you any number of plate brackets available
>> on the aftermarket or as supplied by any number of other manufacturers.
>> Typically constructed of metal, those brackets often have rolled edges
>> to securely hold the flimsy aluminum plates and prevent damage. Often
>> they also have provisions for the plate to be retained by all four
>> screws, and do not impede the mounting of a license plate frame if
>> desired for extra protection or appearance reasons.
>>
>> I also found that annoying squeak that happens when I slam the trunk lid
>> while adding a license plate frame on the rear plate; the rear bumper
>> fascia (to which the rear license plate is "securely" held by two screws
>> into plastic - I "fixed" that by adding two more holes of my own,
>> although I have to say I still would prefer something like riv-nuts into
>> metal, I realize that that would be way too expensive for you to meet
>> your price point) is loose and vibrates against the actual metal of the
>> bumper assembly, and there is no way to tighten the weird little
>> push-clip fasteners that you used to attach it, so I'll be listening to
>> that squeak until I finally get rid of this car, or in desperation
>> finally remove the fascia and replace all those wacky fasteners with
>> speed clips and sheetmetal screws.
>>
>> thank you for your consideration.
>
> I was told by an Oregon cop that they use the front plate law as an
> excuse to pull someone over when they're suspicious but don't have cause
> -- i.e. it's one of the many ways that you can get pulled over for
> Driving While Hispanic, but if you're not otherwise generating suspicion
> or aren't a member of The Wrong Group they'll let it by. And if you
> _are_ a member of The Wrong Group they'll find some other reason.
>

I dunno, years and years ago I had a VW Scirocco and the front plate
bracket had been mangled beyond use before I got the car. I got hassled
regularly until I found a replacement, and I don't really think I look
all that threatening. (it took a while too, as it wasn't available from
the dealer as the car was already more than 10 years old. I think at
one point I installed the mangled original bracket and zip-tied the
license plate to it. Eventually I did find a replacement front bracket,
and was able to mount the plate correctly.)

nate

--
replace "roosters" with "cox" to reply.
http://members.cox.net/njnagel

Ulf > wrote in
:

> Nate Nagel wrote:
>> On 02/21/2010 01:39 AM, Tim Wescott wrote:
>>> On Sat, 20 Feb 2010 17:09:04 -0500, Nate Nagel wrote:

>> I dunno, years and years ago I had a VW Scirocco and the front plate
>> bracket had been mangled beyond use before I got the car. I got
>> hassled regularly until I found a replacement, and I don't really
>> think I look all that threatening. (it took a while too, as it
>> wasn't available from the dealer as the car was already more than 10
>> years old. I think at one point I installed the mangled original
>> bracket and zip-tied the license plate to it. Eventually I did find
>> a replacement front bracket, and was able to mount the plate
>> correctly.)
>
> What's wrong zip ties? The front plate on my Camaro has been attached
> like that for almost two years now. Sure, it was meant as a temporary
> solution to avoid more tickets, but simplicity has its charm... :-)
>
Until the day when the plastic ages, your plate falls off and a couple
miles later you get pulled over for not having one. At the least do a bit
of simple mechanics and fix it properly.

On Sun, 21 Feb 2010 06:51:35 -0500, Nate Nagel wrote:

> On 02/21/2010 01:39 AM, Tim Wescott wrote:
>> On Sat, 20 Feb 2010 17:09:04 -0500, Nate Nagel wrote:
>>
>>> I'm ****ed at GM right now... not homicidally ****ed, mind you, just a
>>> little more so than the usual low level annoyance at their craptastic
>>> products. However, this is an example of why people continue to think
>>> that their products are cheap junk.
>>>
>>> My company car is a current body Impala, it's OK for what it is.
>>> However, it's not a high end car, so while I like to keep it looking
>>> nice, it gets hand washed exactly once a year, immediately before its
>>> annual waxing. Any other time that it starts looking a little dirty,
>>> it gets run through an automatic car wash.
>>>
>>> Why does this **** me off at GM? Because the front license plate
>>> bracket is an embarrassing piece of ****. It's this molded plastic
>>> contraption that screws to the plastic front bumper fascia with two
>>> pathetic little screws, flops around loosely, and worse yet, is
>>> constructed so that it is impossible to put a proper license plate
>>> frame on your front plate, so that you're always running the risk of
>>> having the front plate bent into a pretzel by the car wash rollers.
>>> (three guesses why I'm posting this rant today; first two don't
>>> count.) In fact, the whole thing is so tenuous, I'm wondering if I
>>> shouldn't try to figure out a way to attach it to the lower grille as
>>> well as the current two screws into thin plastic so the whole thing
>>> doesn't get ripped off in the car wash, because now that I've taken it
>>> off and looked at it, I'm really surprised that it hasn't come off
>>> already.
>>>
>>> Come on, GM. I know that front license plates look like ****.
>>> However, my state requires them, so to be a good law-abiding citizen I
>>> have to use them. Please at least recognize this fact and don't hand
>>> off the design of the front plate brackets to one of your junior
>>> engineer's children.
>>>
>>> For an example of how a proper license plate bracket should be
>>> constructed, I recommend to you any number of plate brackets available
>>> on the aftermarket or as supplied by any number of other
>>> manufacturers.
>>> Typically constructed of metal, those brackets often have rolled
>>> edges
>>> to securely hold the flimsy aluminum plates and prevent damage. Often
>>> they also have provisions for the plate to be retained by all four
>>> screws, and do not impede the mounting of a license plate frame if
>>> desired for extra protection or appearance reasons.
>>>
>>> I also found that annoying squeak that happens when I slam the trunk
>>> lid while adding a license plate frame on the rear plate; the rear
>>> bumper fascia (to which the rear license plate is "securely" held by
>>> two screws into plastic - I "fixed" that by adding two more holes of
>>> my own, although I have to say I still would prefer something like
>>> riv-nuts into metal, I realize that that would be way too expensive
>>> for you to meet your price point) is loose and vibrates against the
>>> actual metal of the bumper assembly, and there is no way to tighten
>>> the weird little push-clip fasteners that you used to attach it, so
>>> I'll be listening to that squeak until I finally get rid of this car,
>>> or in desperation finally remove the fascia and replace all those
>>> wacky fasteners with speed clips and sheetmetal screws.
>>>
>>> thank you for your consideration.
>>
>> I was told by an Oregon cop that they use the front plate law as an
>> excuse to pull someone over when they're suspicious but don't have
>> cause -- i.e. it's one of the many ways that you can get pulled over
>> for Driving While Hispanic, but if you're not otherwise generating
>> suspicion or aren't a member of The Wrong Group they'll let it by. And
>> if you _are_ a member of The Wrong Group they'll find some other
>> reason.
>>
>>
> I dunno, years and years ago I had a VW Scirocco and the front plate
> bracket had been mangled beyond use before I got the car. I got hassled
> regularly until I found a replacement, and I don't really think I look
> all that threatening. (it took a while too, as it wasn't available from
> the dealer as the car was already more than 10 years old. I think at
> one point I installed the mangled original bracket and zip-tied the
> license plate to it. Eventually I did find a replacement front bracket,
> and was able to mount the plate correctly.)
>
> nate

I do share your frustration, by the way -- an otherwise nice front bumper
with a honking big notch in it for a plate looks a lot nicer than a plate
sticking out like a sore thumb on the front of a nice curvaceous bumper.

--
www.wescottdesign.com

Tim Wescott wrote:
(snip)
> I do share your frustration, by the way -- an otherwise nice front bumper
> with a honking big notch in it for a plate looks a lot nicer than a plate
> sticking out like a sore thumb on the front of a nice curvaceous bumper.
>

Several models used to have the best of both worlds- a curved plug
matching the bumper contour (like a drive bay cover on a 'stylish' PC),
that you only took out if you had to have a front plate. (And hopefully
kept it, for you or next owner, if car moved to a no-plate state later.)

I guess that went away with all the decontenting to meet price and
weight bogeys. Lighter and cheaper always wins, etc.

--
aem sends...

fred wrote:
> Ulf > wrote in
> :
>
>> Nate Nagel wrote:
>>> On 02/21/2010 01:39 AM, Tim Wescott wrote:
>>>> On Sat, 20 Feb 2010 17:09:04 -0500, Nate Nagel wrote:
>
>>> I dunno, years and years ago I had a VW Scirocco and the front plate
>>> bracket had been mangled beyond use before I got the car. I got
>>> hassled regularly until I found a replacement, and I don't really
>>> think I look all that threatening. (it took a while too, as it
>>> wasn't available from the dealer as the car was already more than 10
>>> years old. I think at one point I installed the mangled original
>>> bracket and zip-tied the license plate to it. Eventually I did find
>>> a replacement front bracket, and was able to mount the plate
>>> correctly.)
>> What's wrong zip ties? The front plate on my Camaro has been attached
>> like that for almost two years now. Sure, it was meant as a temporary
>> solution to avoid more tickets, but simplicity has its charm... :-)
>>
> Until the day when the plastic ages, your plate falls off and a couple
> miles later you get pulled over for not having one. At the least do a bit
> of simple mechanics and fix it properly.

Yeah, I'm going to make a retractable bracket using rc servos. That way
I can flip a switch from inside the car and drive twice the SL passed
speed cameras (while giving the finger) without worrying. ;-)

Of course, it has to be infallible...

>
>
Ulf

Ulf > wrote in
news
> fred wrote:
>> Ulf > wrote in
arm... :-)
>>>
>> Until the day when the plastic ages, your plate falls off and a
>> couple miles later you get pulled over for not having one. At the
>> least do a bit of simple mechanics and fix it properly.
>
> Yeah, I'm going to make a retractable bracket using rc servos. That
> way I can flip a switch from inside the car and drive twice the SL
> passed speed cameras (while giving the finger) without worrying. ;-)
>
> Of course, it has to be infallible...
>
Trade in for a jet car - I refer to Mythbusters when they showed the *only*
way to beat a speed camera with a licence plate showing - be going over
180Mph. I make no promises you won't get roadside inspections however. <g>.

Nate,

My 73 Impala's front license plate bracket ended and inch past the four
bolt holes, and the plate got bent around everytime it went through a
car wash. Eventually I had a three piece front license plate screwed
down to a piece of wood which was then fastened to the license plate
mounting bracket. The car wash never wrecked the plate again..

My mothers 1991 Cadillac front License plate is screwed to a backing
plate that slides down over two round protrusions in the center of the
front bumper. If you give the plate a bumpe upward it comes right off.
She lost it once while parking - the front bumper rode up some plowed up
snow. I found it later at the restaurant when I noticed it missing.

Forget using those license plate frames. They also block the view of the
registration decal if you have one on the rear plate.



Good Luck

harryface
91 Bonneville 321,654
05 Park Avenue 95,001