I Was a Patient JLEDI Yesterday

On Sat, 09 Sep 2006 09:07:17 -0700, Scott en Aztlán >
wrote:

>http://i2.tinypic.com/2j2hy1d.jpg
>
>So I was pulling into a strip mall parking lot yesterday evening (I
>was at the position marked in blue in the above picture). As I'm
>preparing to make a left turn along the path indicated by the blue
>arrow, I noticed an SUV stopped in the traffic lane at the location
>marked in red. A pedestrian was standing on the passenger side of the
>SUV attempting to enter the vehicle. In a scene straight out of
>"Saturday Night Fever," the driver of the SUV kept moving forward and
>reverse just as the pedestrian's hand was about to touch the door
>handle, preventing him from gripping the handle and opening the door.
>
>Now, I suppose I could have taken the path marked in yellow. Yes, it
>would have been driving the "wrong" way, but this was, after all, a
>parking lot, and the proper lane was being blocked by a MFFY. Or I
>could have continued straight ahead and taken the long way around.
>Instead, for a (literal) change of pace, I decided to follow the
>teachings of the JLEDI masters in this group, and I sat there and
>waited while these two assclowns ****ed around. Finally the pedestrian
>got in and the SUV pulled forward, clearing the way for me to complete
>my turn.
>
>Net loss: 30 seconds of my valuable time.
>Net gain: NOTHING.
>
>So I gotta ask you JLEDIs: what's in it for you? What do you get in
>exchange for the time that you allow others to steal from you? Do you
>get a warm fuzzy feeling inside? Do you feel better about yourself in
>some way? And what is it that stops you from defending yourself
>against those who would use you as their doormat?
>
>What am I missing?

What some people get is, I think, an opportunity to not start something that
they have no idea how it is going to end. For the price of 30 seconds, we get
less hassle in our daily lives. Getting somewhere 30 seconds earlier isn't
worth the price of the eventualities of attempting to use personal force to
make something happen your own way, even if you're right.

Using personal force is generally illegal. Doing something like using your car
to limit their driving back and forth might be construed in court as agressive
driving. Look at the way the laws are being applied today - they aren't "fair"
in a lot of cases, they seem to be applied to the nearest bystander. It
doesn't even have to be your fault, or your doing, or whatever - if you get
involved in an altercation, it can be _very_ expensive, and/or even end up with
jail time.

If there's something really illegal going on, I'll call a cop.

Not using personal force, but, say, getting out of the car and walking up to
give someone a tongue lashing is a way to get hurt. Is 30 seconds worth a
broken jaw? Or getting shot? Not to me.

What would I have done? Probably used the "other way" lane - hell, its just a
parking lot, not a police-patrolled street. Not likely to get a ticket. Doing
that avoids confrontation that is unpredictable in its outcome. Anything
confrontational that one can do is _still_ likely to take _more_ than the 30
seconds otherwise expended, and bring less acrimony and other negative feelings
into the world.

Avoid getting involved with other people in a negative way. Almost nothing
good can come from it, while the bad outcomes are virtually limitless. You
_ain't_ gonna "teach 'em a lesson" - they're never going to "get it". The only
thing they're going to "get" is that you're an annoying prick in their lives,
and something they may feel that _they_ need to deal with. A lawyer might sue
you - a gang member might shoot you. Why take the risk for a 30 second gain?
Anyone that thinks that equation works just does bad math, in my opinion.

As for parking lots, I regularly attempt to use pathways that avoid interacting
with other people at all. There's a Home Depot where there's the regular
entrance that everyone uses, that goes right in front of the store, and the 2nd
entrance, that deliveries and other people use. Its a little farther down the
road, but... the 1st entrance is characterized by people entering it and, 90%
of the time, finding some reason to stop and sit there. Drives me insane.
Sooo... I pass up that entrance, go into the truck entrance, and approach the
parking from the _other_ end of the lanes of parking, and I'm parked and into
the building before these others in the other end of lot get moving again. As
much as possible, I treat every parking lot like that. I often just take an
abrupt turn, right or left, when getting into the lot, and going down to the
_other_ end _away_ from the store, driving 'til I spot a place to park, and
then swooping in on it and getting it over with. Much faster, and I don't 1)
**** off someone else nor 2) get ****ed off myself. I _value_ not being ****ed
off... it _always_ is an unpleasant experience, and I try to avoid those.

Dave Head