Suggestions for getting rid of unwanted fish sought

I have a few male fancy guppies and zebrafish that I bought as feeder
fish that have made it to adulthood. Their constant mating behavior is
stressing out the other residents of the tank(s).

Here's some ideas I've thought of and have shot down:
Idea: Get another tank!
Comment: That's just not going to happen. A few stinking fish isn't
worth the backaches I'd get from having to sleep on a cot in the garage.
Idea: Feed them to bigger fish.
Comment: They're not interested.
Idea: Send them back to the fish store.
Comment: It's not like these are $160 Discus. They're not interested.
Idea: Let some small children adopt them and kill them, so they can be
inspired as I was by Rachel Carson and John Muir to the wonders of nature.
Comment: I don't know any likely suckers, er children, and besides, I
would have offed them myself if I thought it was ethical.
Idea: Get some more females so the guppies and zebras will stop
pestering anything else in the tank that has a pulse.
Comment: gahhhh! Not more fish! Just say no!


The comments are strictly tongue in cheek, but you can derive why I'm
looking for another idea from them. I've tried putting them in with
peaceful fish, not so peaceful fish, inverts, lots of plants, no plants,
tall tanks, wide tanks, and tanks with hundreds of hidey holes, and
nothing has worked. They still bicker constantly, worse than Bele in
Star Trek's "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield" and his mirror image.

P.S. That subject line sounds horrible, please excuse it. Even stupid
fish deserve better than to be treated like gum wrappers.