OT Halloween Safety Tips

Oh my god! Nilbog is goblin spelled backwards!



KenCo wrote in message ...
saw this on another group!


Halloween Safety Tips

I'm sure that you've all seen these rules before and really, they're
just
common sense. But since we're coming up to that time of the year, I
think
it's wise to review them. Something about this time of year can play
havoc
with otherwise sensible people.

Just in case you have forgotten the rules for a safe and Happy
Halloween.

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER, EVER go
check to
see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even just mumbling to
yourself, if you can't read silently you have no business with such a
thing
anyway!

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. If your pets speak to you in Latin or any other language which they
should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief
in
the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill
them, so
be prepared. This also applies to people who speak with somebody else's
(usually deep) voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or even split up
and
go it alone.

6. As a general rule, don't try to solve puzzles that open portals to
Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would
apply to
any other house of the dead as well.

8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find
out
that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, lights go on and off, a
fire
just appears in the hearth, or doors open and close by themselves - do
not
check for drafts, do not check for short circuits; just get out!

9 1/2. Why, why, why would you even think of sleeping in that house if
that
happened?

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good
reason
for it. Don't stop and look around!

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you
know
what you're doing. And even if you're sure you know what you're doing,
just
don't fool with it!

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at
least
twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the
monster
is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up
with
you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic
behavior
such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing
hairiness,
and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
listed
he Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if
you
recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to
the
nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is
strange because you thought you had half of a tank, shoot yourself
instead.
You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.

17. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the
time to
move in with the in-laws. This applies to houses that had previous
inhabitants who went mad or died in some horrible fashion, or had
inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.

17 1/2. When the exorcist/whatever declares the house is "clear", your
troubles have just begun.

18. Never look under the stairs. or the bed. or in the closet. or the
cellar, attic.....you get the idea.

19. Don't take anything back to the lab that looks like it might hatch
real
soon - especially if it is transparent, something inside is moving, or
it
appears to be lighted from within. In the same vein, never bend over to
look
into anything that looks like an opening egg.

20. If you don't want to be chased by the monster (or serial killer,
shark,
alien, giant snake, radioactive ants, etc.)...don't wear skimpy clothes
or
wet T-shirts.

20 1/2. Practice safe sex: Don't have it anywhere odd things have been
happening, like people turning up dead.

21. If you are being chased by a car, don't run into the building, the
car
will corner you and rev it's engine menacingly before destroying the
house,
business, police station, etc. Whereas, if you just run down the road it
can't catch you.

22. Never unwrap the mummy. (See........Always good to have duct tape
on-hand just in case something unravels)

23. Going faster than some barrier: sound, light, gossip...is generally
bad
news for someone somewhere.

24. When flying on an airplane, at night, in a storm, don't raise the
shade
to see what that noise out on the wing was.

25. Don't talk to sheriffs wearing reflecting sunglasses in towns that
are
so small the gas station has one pump.

26. Silver works - garlic doesn't.

Happy Halloween !!






--
http://www.kencofish.com Ken Arnold,
401-781-9642 cell 401-225-0556
Importer/Exporter of Goldfish,Koi,rare Predators
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