where to start

Hey guys,
I'm setting up a new tank with a friend. I know a lot, and he knows a lot,
but neither of us has set up a tank in years. Now I know that there are
many new ways of doing things.....but he knows how he's done it before, and
that's how he wants to do it. For example, he went and bought a bag of
crushed coral, and I want to use sand. He wants a canister filter on it,
I'd rather do without the filter.

I've been looking for a site with up-to-date information on where to start
before we get any further, so I can be tactful about this and not just take
over, since it's my tank in my house. Thanks for your help.

Cindy